Santander sent me a charming letter about my unpaid mortgage recently.
Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded that my golden youth ended decades ago.

Every time I get home from work I am reminded that I have royally fucked up my life and failed utterly to live up to my potential and consequently live in a grubby shoe box without even a spare bedroom for my child from (one of) my failed relationship(s).

I really do not wish to continue in this tedious emo vein so I shall shut up.

I'd have liked to have written some fucking bent shit like Imagine by John pissing Lennon because I could do with the royalties.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Imagine...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Yes, Jeff, Imagine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You're a dreamer

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You're a bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

And not the only one, either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I don't know why I'm about to do this other than I'm unprepared for anyone to out-Emo me in this forum
On the other hand, you have frequently spoken of how absolutely blessed you are to have said child, failed relationship or no. I'm led to believe that you are irritatingly handsome and look significantly younger than your years. Your youth doesn't need to end any sooner than you're ready for it to and judging oneself against the concept of potential is a fool's errand. The only people who end up feeling good about themselves when attempting to define how well they've performed against expectations are cunts like Sir Alan Sugar.

So cheer the fuck up or I'll bum you into the middle of next week
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Thank you for your sage words.
You are wholly correct in what you say. Especially about the handsomeness, it complements my modesty perfectly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

The threat of bumming is omnipresent
If I sense your forced grin falter even for a minute I'll unzip with great vengeance and furious anger.

I don't mean to belittle your concerns in any way Monty, we all have those days where the problems are mounting like a porn star on crack. My attitude is always that I could usually do with a slap whenever I get like that. I won't be in he slightest bit offended if you tell me to fuck off (obviously)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)