Valentines Day is approaching.
I know this because I've been spammed by bunches.co.uk, PayPal and Inter-Flora all telling me.

What reminders have you been sent recently that you don't care for?

Alt: If you could have written/performed on one song, what song would you have liked to have written or performed on and why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:15, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Apple said that I have to buy the ones I love the most an iPad or a Macbook Air.
I can't help but to think that's more than a little optimistic both on Apple's part and (should they exist) a loved one's part too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I thought this too
I can't afford my own iPad or MBA, no way could I get a fictional entity one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

one of my mates turned 30 recently
and in the build up to it his sister had contacted a load of us on facebook to suggest we might like to club together and get him an ipad.

fortunately we all agreed, as did my mate, that we'd never heard anything so preposterous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

A few of my mates used to do this
We'd all club together to get something big, like an iPod or motorbike lessons. I chucked in 10-20 quid each time, then when it came to my birthday I got NOTHING. Cunts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

When me and all my mates turned 18, there was about 15 of us all turning that age in the same year, so we all clubbed together and spent £20 each to get something super-cool.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

biggest gesture I have been involved in
was when a mate at university turned 21 and we got him a silver cigarette case and put 21 perfectly rolled joints in it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Hah, that's wicked.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I really like this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

most of my good mates have known each other for getting on for 20 years
we have never bought each other a birthday card, let alone a present.

Why on earth would we start now? Either it would set an unfortunate precedent, or some people would get left out, as you did.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

This group of friends have been buying each other presents for years
Most years one of them would forget mine, but last year they all did. One of them a month later even commented on how shit it was that everyone forgot, and said he'd get me a late present. Never materialised.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

My best friend and best man at my wedding has his birthday tomorrow, I'm getting him the same as he got me
Fuck all.
( Peej, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Did his sister know he was gay already
or is she just trying to turn him with her choice of present?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

she's a bit dim
she's getting married soon and has asked my band to play a bit at her wedding before the main band, which is fine. They asked us to do some covers, which we don't do, and the day after our singer drunkenly suggested we could write them a song (he's an idiot too) she sent him an email with about an A4 pages worth of stuff about how they met...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I got a similar advert from one popular utility download website
Saying that if I sent my hypothetical loved one a bunch of roses through them, I could have a piece of software for free. Oddly enough I can't see that deal getting many takers.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Valentines Day can kiss my well-toned ass.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

It's one of the most fucking bent days of the year
And no mistake.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Yeah, let's create a national day where we remind Noel how long he's not had a shag for.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I can make you a spreadsheet for that.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

would it require one?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Simple answer:
ALWAYS TOO LONG.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

if it's any time longer than about an hour after the last time
then it's too long
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Exactly.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

It's more appropriate than a national day.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Ever since the Rohypnol wore off Poppet?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Hahaha I wish.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

My alarm clock reminded me that it was time to get up this morning.
I told it to fuck off and was therefore an hour late for work. Fortunately no-one seems to have noticed or cared.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I did something similar this morning
my brain said "snooze", but my body said "no, turn it off, go back to sleep"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I turned my alarm clock off using my foot today
Given how poor my eyesight is I was really fucking pleased with that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

good work
I have a hot roast pork, apple sauce and stuffing baguette.

I'm pretty fucking pleased about that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I think mine constitutes a greater personal achievement
But I would nonetheless trade it for yours in a heartbeat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

it was fucking marvellous
and has improved my general outlook no end
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Thank fuck I've got a decent lunch today
Leftover home-made aubergine and coconut curry with two different rices. Reading what you just posted on any other day this week would have sent me straight to the ludicrously overpriced deli up the road/your current location with a gun (dependent on finances)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

mothers day sucks, i always get really gloomy about that time of the year
i get about a million reminders that i don't really need or want, thank you very much, marks & spencers and the rest of you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

^^This

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Poor swipe :-(
Surely there's a niche in the market for a consideration or sensitivity spam filter?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

i know
it really really sucks. hey, my day is going ok, stuck at work and really busy but i've got drinks tonight and the boy just texted and it's all good, then BAM. a massive floral message that basically says:

JUST IN CASE YOU HAD FORGOTTEN FOR ONE SECOND OF ONE MINUTE OF THE DAY, YOUR MOTHER DIED AND YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SEE HER OR HEAR HER VOICE OR SPOIL HER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN, HAHAHAHAHA.





sorry, got a bit wound up there! i just fucking hate them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

That is really sad.
Sorry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

No need to apologise
I'd like to say I completely understand but realistically I can't possibly. I'm really sorry that these things happen and that they make your day rubbish. If I knew anything about computers I'd try to filter such messages out. By sending an army of Cylons to kill the bastards.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

You can set up rules on nearly all email set ups
to move any email which contains the words "mothers day" to your spam mail folder.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

interesting.....
would a yahoo account have that facility??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

yes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

thanks!
will check this out, it really does ruin my day from about 15 feb to 20 march!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Even better
Move out of 1995 by getting a Gmail account.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

i am not even going to pretend to understand this
is it a "LARPING" joke?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

No..
I'm saying Yahoo email is shit, and you should get a Gmail/Googlemail account.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Don't bother Labs
If it isn't pink she doesn't want to know.

That's why she loves vagina so much.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

If it helps, it gets from numb to heart rippingly painful to "just plain sucks" eventually.
Donno what stage I'm at, it changes all the time, but when I went to see Dad's stone over the weekend (the first time I've been at a non-anerversary), he stopped haunting my dreams and I have been able to sleep again this week.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Oh man I really don't have any real problems.
I am such a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

problems are all totally relative
until i lost my mum, the worst thing that had ever happened to me was not getting into oxford or failing my driving test the first time around, and they seemed insurmountable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

This is very true, Monty.
The chances are, within reason, that the worst thing that has happened to you so far will provoke similar reactions and emotions no matter how bad it is, and people handle things differently. The human mind has an amazing ability to recover from emotional catastrophe over time. Thank fuck.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Ha!
You delusional twat.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

BFF!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Hello dahling.
I'm terribly bored.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'm being very lazy
I don't really have a lot of work to do, so I'm deliberately not doing any.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I have fucktons to do.
I am repressing my anxiety and forming a ball of defensive aggression that will no doubt burst forth on the tube later.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Excellent.
I hope you punch someone in the balls. Or shout at a tourist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

No, that's not true.
Let's say you have a cold, and I have aids, it's not like me having aids is a cure for your cold and you'll no longer feel the effects of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Plus what goes on behind closed doors and all that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

wise words from the lovely gonz here xx

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Jeez Swipey
Can't you just move on and get over it, it's not like it just happened.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

when we catch up at tayaabs or at the bash
and the memory of this makes me look at you and burst into inconsolable tears, you're going to feel like the massive insensitive lump of bastardness that you pretend to be...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Oh boy, I'm totally upset that you're taking me seriously here swipey.
But, if you were to get all tearful, I could do my best to console you and accidently grope you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I KNOW!
Cheer her up by doing impressions of her zombie-mum in front of her.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Yeah!
Nothing cheers up the bereaved than receiving a crudely drawn picture of their loved one painted green and lusting after brains.

I for one was most upset that nobobdy sent me any in 2009 when several of my relatives carked it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

it is a sign that i have been on here too long
that this really made me laugh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

It was less than a year after my mum died that Al 'entertained' me by doing this.
It was worth it though, because he forgot my brother was there. The look on his face after I said, 'Of course, you checked out how upset and angry my brother might be about that,' was lovely.
My brother is a b3tan - he wasn't bothered in the least.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I still feel slightly guilty about that.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You're lucky.
I told my Dad that story and then forgot to point you out to him at my birthday party.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I did meet him
But clearly he didn't realise it was me who was the subject of that story.

Just as well or he might have used his bionic knee on my delicate area.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

He only lives five minutes from the Eden Project.
I'm sure he won't mind driving around until he spots you.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

hey sexy lady

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Well hello!
How lovely to see you here.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

You too
I miss the good old days when you and lusty were here lots and we could be bitchy together.

*glees about next Thursdy*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Oh those glorious days of vitriol and abuse and boobs.
*glees also*
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I doubt we'll see b3ainglike that again
sad times
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

that you pretend to be inside your stained y-fronts
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Thankfully, I've managed to avoid the cunting thing, by not venturing further than my house and the pub
Fucking made up gash.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

You have a fleshlight?!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

nice
*fistbumps*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Superb

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

We always do something at this time of year
but that's because our anniversary is four days before Valentine's. Nine years that poor woman's been putting up with me. Less for armed robbery, etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

While you're there, why not remind us all how AMAZINGLY HOT she is and how you totally don't feel like you're good enough for her...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

He could probably answer more questions on general knowledge than she could.
That's got to count for something.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

That is absolutely true, I could
and what woman doesn't look for that in a man?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

OK
*deep breath*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Santander sent me a charming letter about my unpaid mortgage recently.
Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded that my golden youth ended decades ago.

Every time I get home from work I am reminded that I have royally fucked up my life and failed utterly to live up to my potential and consequently live in a grubby shoe box without even a spare bedroom for my child from (one of) my failed relationship(s).

I really do not wish to continue in this tedious emo vein so I shall shut up.

I'd have liked to have written some fucking bent shit like Imagine by John pissing Lennon because I could do with the royalties.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Imagine...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Yes, Jeff, Imagine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You're a dreamer

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You're a bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

And not the only one, either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I don't know why I'm about to do this other than I'm unprepared for anyone to out-Emo me in this forum
On the other hand, you have frequently spoken of how absolutely blessed you are to have said child, failed relationship or no. I'm led to believe that you are irritatingly handsome and look significantly younger than your years. Your youth doesn't need to end any sooner than you're ready for it to and judging oneself against the concept of potential is a fool's errand. The only people who end up feeling good about themselves when attempting to define how well they've performed against expectations are cunts like Sir Alan Sugar.

So cheer the fuck up or I'll bum you into the middle of next week
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Thank you for your sage words.
You are wholly correct in what you say. Especially about the handsomeness, it complements my modesty perfectly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

The threat of bumming is omnipresent
If I sense your forced grin falter even for a minute I'll unzip with great vengeance and furious anger.

I don't mean to belittle your concerns in any way Monty, we all have those days where the problems are mounting like a porn star on crack. My attitude is always that I could usually do with a slap whenever I get like that. I won't be in he slightest bit offended if you tell me to fuck off (obviously)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Valentines day can fuck right off
it's fucking bent most years and this year more than most.
/bitter

Errrrrm water company sent me a reminder for £80, does that count? Also I was reminded quite recently that if you only ever expect people to be decent human beings then you are bound to be disappointed, and sooner rather than later.

Journey - Don't Stop Believing. I fucking despise the cover versions but they must be earning it a mint in royalties, adn the original was great.
(berk, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

girly bash at kitty's and then manchester bar crawl soon though!!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Oh boy, are you all going to have a lingerie fashion show before hand?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I am vastly excited by this
it's not for another 2 and a half months though!
(berk, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

it will be glorious
although i can imagine it will be quite gossipy and somewhat loud and excitable and very very drunken!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Oh God! Please remember I'm old.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

And I'm sure one fo you will drunkenly suggest practicing for kissing with boys by kissing each other.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Filthy minds think alike

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

so in other words
fools seldom differ!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

With boob comparing, pillow fights in pyjamas, and practice snogging

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

We will do all of these things
and tell you about them, but provide you with no photographic evidence. Cos girls are nice like that.
(berk, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

OR
we will just speculate about what each of the boys would be like in the sack. and rank them in order of fuckability.

something like that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Make a spreadsheet and show your workings

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

you just say that
because you are in the tripod of lust and therefore know you'd be in the top 3 rows!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

As honoured as I am to be in that position
My lack of self esteem makes me think I would not be an entirely universal choice for the top 3.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Seconded.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I just bought my first valentines card for the wife.
It came with a massive badge. Which I think she will find endearing.

I think I may also buy her a bottle of pink fizzy wine as I mentioned it the other day and she looked annoyed when I said it was a stupid marketing ploy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Valentine's Day is a stupid marketing ploy all over.
But, you know, in for a penny, in for a pound.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

It came with TGB?
*re-reads*

Oh, badge...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

"I like this"

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I was hoping someone would make this joke.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

EPIC SADFACE

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

*GLESS*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I hate you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Actually
It's SisterBella's 19th today. Which has reminded me how much of a useless cunt I truly am, I can't even afford to get my ace little sister a birthday present. It's properly killing me, I'd give her the cunting moon on a stick if I could, but I can't even spare a fiver for a basic pressie. I can't even afford a fucking card.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Make her a card
by cutting the pictures out of free newspapers and creating a montage of words which represent how you feel about her.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

They don't often print the phrase
"vodka swilling slag, but in a good way" in free papers.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

But you will find the constituent parts
and create a charming poison pen card
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Poison pen?
I love my little sis, she's my favourite person to swill vodka with.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I keep gettig emails from the past dating sites I've been on telling me someone's interested in my profile.
How I don't know, since I deleted them all. Grrrrr!

Funny how no-one was interested while I was there.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Perhaps it's given you an air of mystery...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

It's definitely given me an air of once bitten twice shy.

( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I keep getting these
but since my profile is completely blank apart from a username and location, I must be attracting some really fucking desperate people. Better off out of it, I think.
(berk, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Can I just say I love the fact that Piston inspired this week's question.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I'm surprised you haven't had something from Inter-Fauna, Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Very good.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I must admit I really do agree with you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)