One school trip
when I was eight or nine, we went on the trip (probably to some godawful ancient kiln in the middle of bloody nowhere) and, on the bus back, I sat with Stacey. I've no idea how I made my "move" - to be honest I think she started it because I was fucking terrified of girls - but we ended up snogging on the bus all the way home. That is the first time I can remember wondering what erections were for, and being determined to find out.

When we got back to school, she asked me if I love her. I said, harshly but honestly, "No."

So she ripped all the stickers off my book drawer. I was so gutted I cried.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:37, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Women are bitches!
It's a good thing they're often pretty and have breasts, and that men are revolting.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Are you saying that if men were pretty you'd put it in them?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Hmm, if I found men sexually attractive, I might try.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Looks that way

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:44, Reply)

you wouldn't?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Damned right I would.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Oh...OH!
I'm sorry, I'm utterly useless at telling when someone's making a pass at me! I didn't mean to sound insensitive or dismissive, you're a lovely guy, but I'm just not that way inclined.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 16:58, Reply)

You're a nice guy, Lab, don't get me wrong
but something fundamental to the way the universe works would have to shift a few degrees for me to find you attractive.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Not the nicest of let-downs ever
But still better than "there's not enough beer in the world".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Get me that drunk, I probably wouldn't need that much convincing.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 17:05, Reply)