I have a piece of light-bulb buried deep in the sole of my foot.
No amount of dutch courage and tweezing can shift it. I'm in a lot of pain. What would you like to change about your body?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:42, 30 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My arsehole.
Too musky.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Coffeelols

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I just don't feel like I'm orange enough.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Dale? Is that you?

(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I'd like longer thighs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Heheheh

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I wish I could accurately and comfortably penetrate my wife
whilst in the doggy position. Alas, I am at a slight angle disadvantage.
( Kroney, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I've got a small piece of cellophane lodged in my anus.
I'd like to have it removed - bleach hasn't shifted it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Why would bleach dislodge cellophane?
unless you were douching with it, and frankly just the thought of that makes my eyes water.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I wouldn't really do that.
I was just shoehorning an extra Happybara meme in, namely the bleaching of anuses to remove muskiness.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Dilute the bleach ffs.

(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I'd like a brain able to know when to seek medical attention.
OH YEAH I DUN GOT DAT ALREADY
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I'm going to do you a favour and give you a serious answer
Better eyesight.

Luckily, the respect in which all other B3tans hold me means they will now leave off ribbing you about your penetrative issues and answer the question as it was intended.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'd like to be a bit less handsome.
It's quite embarrassing really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:03, Reply)

You are FUCKING handsome
This is funny because of my post above it

/PsychoChomp
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:07, Reply)

You do have a smile
that promises much sub-duvet perversion.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I'd like to look a bit less like rastamouse
because people are always asking me to come and make a bad ting good.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Rastamouse hasn't started yet, has it?
I've seen the ads but as yet - no Rastamouse. *furrows, thick, neanderthal brow*
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:27, Reply)

my stunning good looks
That scare men off obviously
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Are you ever concerned that it's actually your musky anus?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:23, Reply)

it hadn't crossed my mind

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:28, Reply)

You cads!
Mucho grief for my wife's pit of sarlacc; zero pity for my wounded foot. And I've got to wank into a cup at the Microbiology Department of my local hospital ON MY BIRTHDAY because that's their next available bloody appointment when I am definitely the fertile one.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:24, Reply)

HAHA!
So not only can you not get your cock into your wife, but she's also infertile!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I believe his wife has plopped out a sprog once already
so if she is infertile, then Happybara is Jesus or something
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Well, we've already got one kid.
But SOMEBODY's genitals have stopped working since. And it's not bloody me!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:32, Reply)

there is no pain like standing on a bra-hook
seriously. anyone who disputes this simply hasn't done it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:33, Reply)

No, finding a wasp in your boxer shorts is more painful than this.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Is that because your bras are made of reinforced titanium
and held together with adamantium claws salvaged from the Weapon X laboratory?

What?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:37, Reply)

standing on the heel of a shoe hurts more :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)