No
I was in the shower, now I have to mention I am not allowed to get water in my eyes so I have the shower in my hand and think, Oh I should probably give my legs a quick shave. So lather up the first leg and start shaving, all going well until uuUUUuuuggGGGGhhh that felt weird. Oh. Oh MY I appear to have a long slither of skin in the razor. Oh. Oh MY look at the blood, the BLOOD OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM IN PSYCHO AND STANDING IN AN INCH OF BLOOD ARGH WHAT DO I DO I CAN'T PUT THE SHOWER DOWN IN THE BLOOD I CAN'T GET WATER IN MY EYES TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF.

I then had to gingerly step out the shower, stuff loads of toilet roll on the epic bleeding, wipe down the bloody footprint and hop to my room where I fashioned a dressing out of cotton pads and medical tape.

Note, cotton pads will stick to the injury after several hours and having to pull it off will result in more bleeding.

To see how much skin I managed to remove from my leg in glorious low definition click here
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:17, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh my god oh my god oh my god
I know your pain. Or in my case lack of pain. I did the same thing with about 5 strips of skin a few years back. The bathroom floor was completely covered in blood. It's fucking terrifying. Hope you're ok.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Cutting yourself near water is horrific it just seems to make it a gazillion times worse
It's not too bad I'm letting it "breathe" so I can have a really attractive scab.

I have been a total injury magnet this year. I managed to injure myself on baconz the other day
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:20, Reply)

I was shaving my legs for a conference
I had to keep it covered as I was wearing tights the whole time. 3 days later it was still bleeding. I've never seen so much blood, I literally had to sit in the bath in the end and get my mum to mop the bathroom floor.

How are the eyes?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Aww you sound like you managed to properly hack yourself to bits there :(
Eyes are good :) Only five more days of drop taking then freeeeeedom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:24, Reply)

They were cheap razors
I bought them in Africa, when I was shaving my legs there I looked down at the bath and thought "Ooh, I'm dirtier than I thought" as there was a large pool of brown water around my feet. Had cut the backs of my ankles to shreds. The second time it was only after I noticed a strip of skin about 5 inches long that I noticed I'd hurt myself, and by then it was too late. I was more amused than anything, but my mother thought I'd done it on purpose and cried. A lot.

Glad to hear it- must be a nice difference. I'm looking forward to seeing your miraculous peepers at the weekend. I bought a litre of Hendricks at duty free. I don't think it'll come to Oxford though :/
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:28, Reply)

oh dear
I think my razors are too good. On the plus side definitely no hair on that bit of my leg!

Right beddybyes time. Catch y'all on the flip side
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:31, Reply)

Peace out TGB.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:33, Reply)

See you later bbz

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:34, Reply)

That looks like it smarts a little.
I suggest a nice cup and tea and maybe a biscuit.

Dr Jeff in da house!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:21, Reply)

I had pepsi and a jam tart?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:22, Reply)

I don't know. Did you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:24, Reply)

I like you TGB
but dear god you're a calamity. That looks seriously sore, how the fuck did you manage that?!
(berk, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:39, Reply)