I had an ex
who would routinely 'go for a quick drink' after work knowing I was cooking for her, who'd then crash in through the door hours later out of her mind. The number of meals that ended up in the bin is not something I'd like to dwell on. It's amazing how one's perception of time distorts when you're waiting for someone to turn up that you can't get hold of. I dumped the woman, she never got over it and has given her new baby my name as his middle name. So, a happy ending for all concerned.

She's way out of your league and she knows it, so this will only get worse. I suggest an honour killing (at the very least a facial acid attack), followed by a couple of years on the run, sodomising Algerian homeless boys and coming to terms with your true sexuality, only to tragically die from steroid abuse in a Moroccan prison. Alone, penniless and riddled to the gunwhales with bum AIDS.

This may sound harsh but trust me, you'll thank me for this advice one day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:35, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Phew
For a second there I thought I was going to have to make decisions for myself as to the path my life takes. Thanks Monty, I owe you one.

Have you considered the possibility that this ex routinely missed the meal you were making because you're a fucking terrible cook?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)

She was an alcoholic.
I am a limited but wholly proficient cook, thank you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Internet banter mate
Any man who can knock together a decent Thai curry is a thoroughly capable cook. Anyway that's not the point, if you're taking the time to make someone a meal the least they can do is fucking turn up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:44, Reply)

I'm a fucking terrible cock, that much is true.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I like this.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)

In my culture, the word is 'gunwales'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

I knew it didn't look right.
Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I like this.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)