Fucking hell I'm hungover
I blame Tesco for not having any Budweiser when I swung by last night. I'd forgotten the aftereffects of San Miguel. Bastards didn't have any jalapenos either. Someone tell me a funny story. Doesn't have to be true.

Q, for the sake of it - Best meal you've ever cooked. I made Ms Foxtrot halloumi, mushroom and cherry tomato kebabs on apricot couscous with salsa verde last night. She was half an hour late home because she'd been sat outside in the car nattering. I texted all three people in said car to find out when she'd be home with no reply. Which brings me to my Alt Q - was I right to fly off the handle?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:06, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yep
Thats the reaction she wanted, if she was sat outside, could you not have gone and told her? Lot nicer, and you could have seemed a bit more chilled that way.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:11, Reply)

I had no idea she was sat outside
I knew who she gets a lift back with, hence my texting them too to make sure she was OK and the car hadn't exploded into firey death. I was annoyed because none of them could be bothered to reply and confirm lack of explosion.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:15, Reply)

That would royally piss me off too

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:30, Reply)

Thank you!
I know I overreacted because of the booze, but she knows I get fretful when she's late home with no word. And she would have reacted exactly the same
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Maybe one of the people in the car was discuusing something important that couldn't be interupted.
Like an impending breakup or something.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Or shoes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Shoes?
I got a really good pair while in Britain while I was shopping with Amberl. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:31, Reply)

It's very difficult to describe in type the effect the words "shoe shopping" has on men
Scrubs sums it up beautifully though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Labs went shoe shopping with me. :D
I bought knee high boots. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:35, Reply)

That's more like it
Cos they sound quite sexy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)

It was great because we went into 3 shops max
And didn't spend 30 minutes in each!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Lies
ON THE INTERNET
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Tis the truth
I was pleasantly surprised!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I'm nothing if not efficient.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Why can't there be more like you?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Thankfully not
They were discussing the politics of the Uni Dancesport team. I know this because they all came in and continued to do so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:31, Reply)

I didn't know your missus was Australian.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:36, Reply)

No, you've lost me
Please see the above about my crippling hangover
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:37, Reply)

In my culture, the word is 'university'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:39, Reply)

In my culture, the motto is 'laziness'

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)

*CLICK*
snore.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

superb response
I'm going to be watching like a hawk to see if Monty ever uses words like "phone" or "can't"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Hahaha, good point
Fucking hell, I'm on the popular page. Twice in one lifetime!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I had an ex
who would routinely 'go for a quick drink' after work knowing I was cooking for her, who'd then crash in through the door hours later out of her mind. The number of meals that ended up in the bin is not something I'd like to dwell on. It's amazing how one's perception of time distorts when you're waiting for someone to turn up that you can't get hold of. I dumped the woman, she never got over it and has given her new baby my name as his middle name. So, a happy ending for all concerned.

She's way out of your league and she knows it, so this will only get worse. I suggest an honour killing (at the very least a facial acid attack), followed by a couple of years on the run, sodomising Algerian homeless boys and coming to terms with your true sexuality, only to tragically die from steroid abuse in a Moroccan prison. Alone, penniless and riddled to the gunwhales with bum AIDS.

This may sound harsh but trust me, you'll thank me for this advice one day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Phew
For a second there I thought I was going to have to make decisions for myself as to the path my life takes. Thanks Monty, I owe you one.

Have you considered the possibility that this ex routinely missed the meal you were making because you're a fucking terrible cook?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)

She was an alcoholic.
I am a limited but wholly proficient cook, thank you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Internet banter mate
Any man who can knock together a decent Thai curry is a thoroughly capable cook. Anyway that's not the point, if you're taking the time to make someone a meal the least they can do is fucking turn up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:44, Reply)

I'm a fucking terrible cock, that much is true.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I like this.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)

In my culture, the word is 'gunwales'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

I knew it didn't look right.
Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I like this.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

ungover
I blame Tesco for not having any Budweiser when I swung by last night. I'd forgotten the aftereffects of San Miguel. Bastards didn't have any jalapenos either. Someone tell me a funny story. Doesn't have to be true.

Q, for the sake of it - Best meal you've ever cooked. I made Ms Foxtrot halloumi, mushroom and cherry tomato kebabs on apricot couscous with salsa verde last night. She was half an hour late home because she'd been sat outside in the car nattering. I texted all three people in said car to find out when she'd be home with no reply. Which brings me to my Alt Q - was I right to fly off the handle?

MARTIN, THIRTY TWO YEARS OLD AND I AM FROM FILLORY. I AM A POWERFUL TELECOMUNICATIONS ANALYIST. FEAR ME, ANN, FEAR MEEEEEE
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Hahaha
Best one yet.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:38, Reply)

I find the Fillory thing really cool, it's from a book I've just read (The Magicians)
It's about magic and stuff like that, but in the book are fictional books that are like the Narnia ones that the people in The Magicians really loved. The Fillory books (written by Christopher Plover) are about a group of brothers/sisters who keep on going to the magical world of Fillory and getting up to adventures, and it turns out that they're based on truth (in The Magicians).

Googling around, the author of The Magicians has made websites based on the Fillory books, and it's just added an extra dimension to the whole thing.
www.christopherplover.com/
www.emberstomb.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Magicians_(Grossman_novel)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I also like this.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Sorry to tell you this...
...but I think she was in the car with myself and Stan Collymore.
Apologies for the length.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Hahaha, very good
Although as Forest fan I am compelled to scowl at you for even mentioning Collymore's name
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:45, Reply)

scowl at you for even mentioning Collymore's name bang on at length about ancient history while deluding yourself that greatness is just around the corner
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Sorry, how many European Cups have your lot won?
#provingthepoint
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Not letting someone know you are going to be late is my pet peeve.
Especially nowadays when everyone plus the cat has a sodding mobile phone.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:45, Reply)

My father once told me
'unpunctuality is a sign of a disordered brain'.

I have never forgotten this and have consequently wasted hours and hours of my life in airports, being the spastic who turns up when they tell you to, rather than waltzing in and straight onto the plane at the last minute.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:49, Reply)

If we were friends IRL (calm down, this is entirely hypothetical)
this habit of yours would see you gain several free pints from me. I fucking hate tardiness
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Look, it's not their fault they have Downs.
Hate the sin, love the sinner, man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Says the man who turned up late when we went to Tayyabs
*sheesh*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

It's not my fault I have Downs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Blame the chromosomes, not the man

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Innit blud.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)

nope it's passed through the genes actually

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

biologylolz

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:24, Reply)

science jokes seem to be my forte today :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I hate being late for anything
It's rude to keep others waiting. Mind you it does mean I get anxious about missing flights or trains so end up getting there 20 minutes early.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:53, Reply)

ahhaha I do that with movies at the theatre as well.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Me too!
Though my best mate likes to leave it as late as possible, which winds me up no end...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

We need a badge when you have time my dear.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I'll see what I can knock up at lunchtime

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Ladies of Stratfrod beware
Lab and his babymaker need fresh meat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

The ladies of "Stratfrod" can sometimes be described with 'what' rather than 'who'
You are correct.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Oops
Have they taken the Christmas decorations down yet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Thankfully yes
A week or two ago...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Me too.
I hate being late for anything. I hate having to rush about last minute because that's when you usually forget something.

I went to the doctors last night and had to sit in the car for 15 minutes because I was too early.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:54, Reply)

OMG! we should do a badge for organised B3tans.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:55, Reply)

I like this
I have no badges on my profile
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

'cos you ain't organised, innit?!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I hate myself for doing this, even though it's entirely accurate
organised bothered
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I'm going to join in
and say that I hate being late and I hate others being late. It's rude.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I know what you mean.
I always leave little reminders for myself everywhere so I don't forget meetings.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Never EVER fly off the handle.
Especially when you have every right to do so. A quiet night of "What's wrong?" "Nothing." And an eventual admission that you are hurt upset and disappointed at her behaviour, followed by a dejected retirement to the bedroom is much more effective. Pretending to be asleep when she comes to bed is even better. Guilt trips are brilliant.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I disagree
I've told her a thousand times that if she does the "nothing's wrong" bit I will take it at face value and bring it up again when she admits there was, in fact, something wrong.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)

OH THIS!!!!!!
I fucking LOVE this! "Nothing" means nothing, full stop
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Yeah but it's so satisfying when they realise what you are doing.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Damn right
I've always said that I don't see why girls should be able to employ that method just because "it's something girls do". They'd go fucking mental if we tried the same
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

this adds weight to my "women are irrational" argument from yesterday

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Cos that argument needs weight adding to it
As does the Politicians Lie argument
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

it was an argument with Amberl
I need everything I can get
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Oooooh shit
You'll need more weight than I can lend the argument. Ask Al
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

"Men are shit, women are crazy"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I'm clicking this
Just because
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Me me me me!
My turn! I am fucking fuming today as I was interviewing last Thursday for a post in our office. We had 4 candidates and the 3.15pm one simply didn't turn up. HR rang his mobile - no answer, and his home where his wife told them that he had left 2 hours ago.

We were later informed that he had been stuck behind some kind of accident and the Police needed him as a witness (or something).

Now am I being a touch harsh here, but if you are going for an interview and cannot make it there, would you not ring? Even the Agency? How could he have spoken to whoever to let them know about this accident without access to a phone? We also heard nothing back from him on the Friday and late Monday the aganecy got in contact with him. Our fucking idiot HR department have asked him back in for an interview (which I have to give).

What questions should I ask him in the interview?

In answer to your question, yes! Full handle flying is 100% allowed and you also get to use this as a "But YOU sat outside for half an hour" get out of jail card next time you fuck up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Ask him who won the FA Cup in 1898
and when he doesn't know, somehow tie it in to his inability to call ahead
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Hmmmm
I like this idea.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I can think of plenty of questions that no-one knows the answer to
Although I imagine you can probably guess the FA Cup one
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Is it the wonderful Derby County?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

FUCK THE FUCK RIGHT OFF
No
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Are you sure
Nottingham Forest Verses Derby County. Are you sure The glorious Derby boys didn't trounce those filthy Notts lads? Really?
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

There are no recorded instances in the history of football of D***y beating Forest
Certainly not this season. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Sorry, any excuse to mention that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I am tickled by this from the BBC website
Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson's interest in bringing £20m-rated Borussia Dortmund playmaker Mario Goetze to Old Trafford has intensified.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I can't wait to see his goal celebration
Oh wait, I can
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

It's OK
I don't know shit about football and don't support anyone except loosely spurs because I had to in school or face the wrath of Tony Byrne. I only knew Forest beat Derby 3-1 in the 1898 FA cup Final because of Wikipedia.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I like that you looked that up
I like it even more than you reproduced it here.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I would ask the question:
Do you find it easy to lie in a work based situation?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Any twit knows that the police will take a name and address and get back to a witness later.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

This was what I thought
unless he caused the accident
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Well, unless he is a superb canditate you should just tell him to fuck off.
Or...

Bring in a couple of matchbox cars and cereal boxes and ask him to make a diorama of the incident.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I like this
I like it a lot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

This is brilliant!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Don't forget the round-ended scissors and non-toxic paste

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

That's right, and he should only be allowed to fill the application form in using crayons.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

'do you know how to work a fucking telephone?'
OK, next question. 'When you are expected somewhere for an important appointment, say, a JOB INTERVIEW, would you consider it prudent and at the very least polite to inform your interviewer that circumstances have prevented you from keeping that appointment?'

I see, right. One last question, 'why don't you fuck off immediately, you bullshitting spastic?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

WINNA!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Ask him if he's a benny tied to a tree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Are these questions you ask your own prospective employees?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:10, Reply)

My first question is always
'Are you aware of the tradition of 'droit de seigneur'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Said in a Terry Thomas voice I expect.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)

It's the only voice I have.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)

It's the only one you need.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:19, Reply)

When are you visiting?
I am looking forward to bumming you to the gunwales.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Finances dictate 'not for a bit'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)

fucking splendid

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Ask him about the accident.
Let him witter on then just say "Really?" (with a raised eyebrow if possible).
Then no further comment and move on.
Check for squirming.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Also good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Yes
My wife was on the way to an interview when she was involved in a three car smash. Despite her injuries, damage to her car and police presence she still phoned and let them know she would not be at the interview, because of this they rescheduled her interview.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)

This^
Plus your wife is nails
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I want to drag her to a bash one day
People instantly think she's a lovely darling little pussy cat. Then they watch her get drunker and drunker, eventually someone will keep bumping in to her and the evenings entertainment can begin.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Is she a Geordie?
And does she say "Are you calling my pint a puff?"
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Nay trubble
Mare like a bastad!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

No, she's Nick Griffins worst nightmare
One quarter each of Native American, Spanish and Cornish the other quarter is a complete mongrel mix with a bit of Chinese and Japanese thrown in for luck. According to Griffins three generations rules she would be sliced up in to several bits and posted around the world.

If she was Geordie I'd let them.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)

In all seriousness
I would ask him which police station is handling the incident - and the name of the officer who he's been dealing with.

You might as well out the cunt as an unreliable bullshitter as quickly as possible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

it's rude and thoughtless
Also you're hardly the most volatile person around, so I suspect it's less the lateness than the lack of an apology and probably an attempt to pass it off that angered you. So yeah it was fine to go off the handle. Not to be all peer-supportery, but be are sure it was just about the meal rather than lots of things?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

In this case it was all about the meal. And possibly the alcohol.
I do freak out unnecessarily when she's not home on time. For some reason my generally logical brain assumes fiery death over the myriad of vastly more likely possibilities
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:22, Reply)

*puts up hand*
Am I the most volatile?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

sorry dear
Everyone knows GHB reacts with anything so that makes Pyschochomp the most volatile

/rapistlolz
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I have failed in my attempt not to do a 'witty' response regarding Buddy Rich.
And of course 'scheming on a tip'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

that would piss me right off
I would have gone with the "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed" approach though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Alcohol had obliterated any chance of a rational or calm response

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

And said that the only way to make it better
Is to be allowed to have a go on one of her mates. The fit one, not the one who comfort eats every time a guy doesn't put an 'x' at the end of a text message.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Clicking this, despite myself
You're on excellent form this morning sir.

*contemplates which of Ms Foxtrot's mates is most lengthworthy*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I am prepared to shag an apology to you out of your missus.
That's how much I care.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:29, Reply)

WHY WOULD YOU CHEAT ON LUSTY YOU FUCK

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

I don't want to. I'm just trying to help out a friend in need.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

This is very big of you
Speaking of which, how tall are you? Just need to know if I should get the stepladder out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Does she have a musky anus?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)

6'2", but I have disappointingly short thighs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

You'll probably be alright then
Shave though. She hates facial hair
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

She's not supposed to enjoy it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

For some reason I thought about this seriously for a second
and concluded that the two of you would probably make excellent intellectual sparring partners

I have no idea why I thought that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Cheers!
Make sure you rate each of her friends in several categories, using your missus as a Control. You have to be scientific about this.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Right now I'm going with Natalie
Same height, also blonde, similar figure, bigger tits. Nowhere near as pretty though. Lend me a brown bag?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I like how you say these thinsg
yet you would never ever ever even think of doing it yourself. Even when the people you go out with are massive ssunts (shoe shopping cunts)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:29, Reply)

You never even met her, but you hate her

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Yeah I'm going to have to play my
"Awesome At Judging People Which Even You Have To Admit Is Actually A Trufax" card
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

You are a harsh judge with your gravel
She wasn't right for me, but she's not a massive cunt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

vetoed

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I think if we took your opinions on someone, crossed them with mine, we'd hit the truth.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)

You're a massive ssunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Where's Monty Balyce?
I like him a lot more
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

He's better looking too
Which isn't saying much: obese cavalier vs that Nazi officer who drank from the wrong cup.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Hahaha
IndianaJonesandtheLastCrusadeLolz
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)

wrong furry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Unfortunately for you she is a woman
therefore the most you will ever get is an admission that she was in the wrong, you will never truly get a genuine apology.

Also much like myself you are batting so far above your average that you should just count yourself lucky and go and do the dishes or something.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I do an awful lot of washing up in our house, I must admit

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I do all of it
Its that or put up with being told that I never do it. If you ask my wife I never do anything around the house except for that time where she yelled at me to do it. In reality I do most of it.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Punching above one's weight is not all wine and roses, is it?
I look at it this way; the other way round is worse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I think this every morning when I look in the mirror
Or when I look at my Belgian ex girlfriend.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Yes my ex was a bit of a seacow
The washing up is worth it for the looks on peoples' face when I introduce them to the missus
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I know that feeling!

( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I had my epic baconz sammich last night
fried baconz, fried onions, fried cheese, fried egg.

NOM NOM NOM. Today I shall mainly be eating dust
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

That sounds truly revolting. Well done.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

seriously just fuck off Monty
You're worse than Bobby recently
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Oh just eat your munchy box and be quiet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Agreed
I actually felt a little sick reading it.

I had grilled chicken with lemon and honey coated sweet potato with Broccoli and carrots. That was delicious. Fried lard sarnies are not.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

How do you fry cheese?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

You carefully place in on the bacon in the frying pan
then when it falls off into the frying pan and melts you scoop it up with said bacon and quickly transfer to the bread
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I thought it was this.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I needed a last hurrah before my inevitable week of eating rice + whatever veg I find in the fridge

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Personally I'm just trying to resign myself to being a lolfatty

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Just put it in a pan and turn up the heat.
Use a really fatty cheese and it won't stick much.
Works best with grated.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Halloumi is excellent dusted with flour and fried.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:46, Reply)

+ sweet chilli sauce

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Congratulations.
I am now salivating like one of Jeff's victims at the sounding of the bell.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

bell
Pedigree Chum being opened
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)