She is a Literary Detective.
Her first exciting job is to go into Jane Eyre to pretend to be Jane as the character has been kidnapped and to stop the destruction of the book. Day job includes proving that things can't be a lost play of Shakespeare if they're written in ballpoint pen and make references to Ferraris and lots of paperwork.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:14, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That sounds weird.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:15, Reply)

They're highly entertaining and very readable.
If a little self-referential.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:18, Reply)

jasper fford, right?
I read one of those - something about humpty dumpty. I liked it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:17, Reply)

The Big Over Easy?
It's in my bed at the moment. I had forgotten who the murderer was when I last re-read it, so it was so exciting seeing it all fold out. It was excellent.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Don't talk about yourself in the third person, it's annoying.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:24, Reply)

How is that in any way in the third person?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:32, Reply)

He's implying you're the "it" in the last sentence

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Hang on, if Lampy is 'it'
Then I don't want to get tagged.

*Finds a safe spot that's off ground*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:36, Reply)

Watch it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:39, Reply)

I am. I don't want to be 'it' if we're playing off-ground-touch.
Not, if as I fear, your 'touch' is a upper-cut.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:41, Reply)

That makes absolutely no sense whatsover.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I think he's calling you The Big Easy
punch him, lamps!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Well, he's shit.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:39, Reply)

You load the gun and Lampy pulls the trigger.
Is that your plan?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:40, Reply)

yeah!
then I am totally innocent
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:44, Reply)

You are just as GUILTY
As the violent Lampy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I'm not that violent.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:47, Reply)

What makes you punchy?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

Alcohol? Frustration? Hatred?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

dog fucking?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Oi!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

i beg to differ

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

How?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

well the nature of guilt is a whole complex thing
while I have, in theory, opened the possibility of lampito to be violent it is ultimately her decision to kick your ass
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:59, Reply)

Why would Lampy want to kick my ass?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)

oh wait, I meant chompy's ass
she might want to kick your's too, for fun, you know?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:05, Reply)

What? For shit and giggles?
I hope not.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:10, Reply)

I'm feeling grouchy and tired. I wouldn't mind punching someone. Or a hug.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:14, Reply)

*Hugs*
Why are you grouchy?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:17, Reply)

I'm exhausted. And not feeling very well.
Nasty mix of physical and mental.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:18, Reply)

What you need
Is a nice hot drink and a good nights sleep.

Maybe a hot chocolate, it'll help you nod off.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:19, Reply)

I've not had a good night's sleep in a while.
It really gets to me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:20, Reply)

What time do you have lectures tomorrow?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:22, Reply)

10.
Earliest I have.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Well sort out what you're going to wear tomorrow.
Make a hot drink and read a book in bed.

You'll doze off and feel all refreshed tomorrow.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Or, stay up until all hours cocking around on the internet.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:24, Reply)

True!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 23:27, Reply)

I thought it was witty and charming

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 22:39, Reply)