I was thinking of emailing her this:
Well, I don't really know what to put here, so here goes! Hi, I'm Lorraine from Nottingham. I'm a laid-back kind of woman and I've been on my own now for about 5 years. I've started to think that life is too short, so it's time to get back out there and meet some one to share it with.

I love nights out, trips to the cinema, and going out for a meal - or just stopping in, cuddled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a good film. All the usual stuff, really - I just miss walking down the street holding someone's hand, getting the butterflies and feeling so happy...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:42, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Add this to the end of it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=au8PhQ87cFw
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:43, Reply)

I'd email back
yeh bet u think ur so much betta than me now becase u ar gud wit words.

Then I'd post your profile picture to failblog, take a screenshot and attach to the above email
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:43, Reply)

Hah do that
I reckon that's a pretty original response that makes your stance clear without taking the piss too harshly. Might encourage her to read a book for once..
(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)

*does my B-boy stance*

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)

+ent

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:14, Reply)

stanceent? Bent-boy? I r fick an dunt unnerstan

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)

Bent boy.
Sorry, I was going for the cheap laugh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:22, Reply)