This is fucking hilarious
www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/feb/27/ashley-cole-shoots-student-rifle

I really, really hope that the police charge him and he gets sent down. It won't happen of course, he has too much money, but the fact that it's a possibility is very funny.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 9:59, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I learned about this story on Sikipedia.
It's now become my main news site.
( thealternativefact, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I couldn't believe that
I swear he's looking for new and interesting ways to make himself the most hated man in Britain. I suppose there is a vacancy, now that Piers Morgan does most of his work in America
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

He didn't realise the rifle was loaded
Surely that is not a valid excuse in a court of law? The first thing you ever get told if you do any sort of training with weapons is never, ever point them at people, regardless of whether they are loaded or now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

If only there were a place where morons and guns could live together
so he could go and live there.
( thealternativefact, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

This is a man who cheated on Cheryl Cole
and used an anonymously purchased, unregistered phone to send a photo of HIS FACE. Not all his dogs are barking. But as you say, "don't imprison me your honour, I'll buy you a mansion" is an acceptable defence in a court of law
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Nope, I think Mandelson is still winning in that respect

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Mandelson's run out of tricks
Although Cole's career can't have more than five years left to it and I can't see him becoming a manager. Mandelson could get a second series yet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

You mean aside from saying Gaddafi is only trying to instil democracy? (I think, was v tired when I heard that)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

And The Daily Mash makes it all the more awesome
www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/gazza-offers-cole-some-chicken-201102283581/
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Hahaha
That's genius. Even by the Mash's high standards, that is brilliant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)