When I was about 21 I was stopped and searched by the police
carrying enough MDs to put me in prison for several years (I was a foolish young man). They searched me, and then searched me again because they could probably sense my middle-class terror from 20 miles away. They found nothing.

The Filth = 0
Monty = 1
Society = -1
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:34, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Were they in your bloodstream

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

They (or a fair proportion of them) fucking were afterwards.
I was pretty jubilant/relieved, and celebrated in my own version of 'style'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Ravers +50

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I'll bet you were shitting yourself.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I really, really was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Did you rush home to throw up on your old mans slippers?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I didn't need to.
Because I was planning a big night out, I sensibly brought a pair of my dad's size 11s along with me in case I felt a bit sick. A most prudent decision THAT turned out to be, I can assure you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Still, as long as that worrying incident with the old bill meant you learnt a valuable lesson,
And you've not touched drugs since, there is no real harm done, is there?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

You've got too much of 'that', Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I got too much of 'that' for a honkey?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

That's just like the scene in Monty Pythons "Life of Brian"
where the Roman soldiers search the building and only find a spoon...A SPOON MONTY!

You see it's funny because the place is full of badly hidden people!

Let's re-enact the scene, i'll be John Cleese and you be Graham Chapman..."What have the Romans ever done for us?"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

*letter bombs*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Half a mo - Chapman was a bender wasn't he?
I think it'd best if you handle the Chapman part, so to speak.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

He was? But he gets his cock out in that film
now I can't say that I haven't seen a gay mans penis.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Not seeing is not that same as "have not been penetrated by"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I am assuming you've seen your own penis
and therefore you could not have truthfully claimed that anyway.

I'M SAYING YOU'RE A BUMMER!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

As a morbidly obese shut-in who hasn't seen his cock in years
I find that comment insensitive at best
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)

...unlike your cock
that would probably go off like a spunky firework at the mere thought of Carol Vorderman's Tena Lady.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I'd give her "One from the top and any other five" that's for sure
I have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)