the RAC fixed my car last year
At the roadside I was quoted £110 for the part and he would through in some free leads, got the invoice breakdown through and the part cost £80 and I'd been charged £30 for the "free" leads.

I was just complaing and the guy on the phomne justified this by saying "well you paid what you were quoted"...not really the point you massive arsehat*

When have you beaten the system?

Alt: Did anyone see Jeff in the backround of crufts last night?

* from vippers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:46, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm wondering what a Purple Violat milkshake would be like, made using crushed purple violets and strawberry ice cream and milk.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)

horrible
Parma violets are disgusting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I like them quite a lot.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

They taste like soap
Maybe that is what is killing your stomach, too much soap flavoured foodstuffs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Thank you for your kind suggestion, but I don't think there is sufficient evidance in the medical comunity that relates parma voilats to my stomach stuff.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Did everyone see this?


Naked women or fat arms?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:51, Reply)

fat arms,

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

disgusting fat arms

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

At least she has used her fat arms to disguise the fact her mate is naked.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:54, Reply)

to be fair
there's only ONE fat arm

maybe she got 241?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:57, Reply)

What a great tale of one man's mission against the corporate machine.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Thank you, this is only part one

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I can't wait for the next installment of this epic saga.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I'll gaz you a preview

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Did you actually beat the system though?
Your post suggests that they kippered you. Congrats if you got that £30 off though.

Alt: you couldn't really miss him, could you? Their security is VERY lax. I've no idea how he runs so fast wearing no trousers, I always find the possibility of self-cockslap slows me down
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Working on it, theiving bastards

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Does this spell the end of the Indian takeaway and the Chinese?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12733899
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

=/

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I'm looking forward to the japanese who might possibly move over here and opening up japanese resturants in the same style as the chinese did.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Every Nuclear cloud and all that...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Has a radioactive lining?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)

that would be awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Go to Golders Green. This has already happened.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

If anyone wants to waste their time
reading a really bizarre thing www.grovebooks.co.uk/resources/bsb/bsb58.pdf
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:00, Reply)

What was that all about?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I reckon the Jack and Jill thing
must be a joke
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Not funny though.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Don't rain on my parade
it's better than a bbcnews link
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I think I killed OT...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)

A mercy killing some might say

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)

/talk certainly would
But they are repeatative retards to be fair
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

repetitive
i don't know why i do this either.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Correct my spelling?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

yours or anybody else's

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Careful now, they'll retaliate
before you know it we'll be knee deep in squid porn. Nobody wants that do they...?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)

It'd be more interesting than NakedApe's 'I didn't get some free leads' tale...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Yeah but on second reading he seems to have smashed the system

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Hang on a sec, I'm not really sure what the point is ...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

There was little point, I just wanted a new thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

hello stranger
where the devil have you been?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

I've been in that Austria skiing, innit
I'm boss now
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

oh yeah i remember
did you have fun? did you misbehave?

i NEED gossip.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

One of the krazy kids I went with availed himself of an 'extra' during a private dance at the local titty bar
As a result he got to sniff an eastern Europeans bumhole

He seemed inordinately proud of this :((((
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Was it musky?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Was it musky?

( Kroney, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

What sort of extra is that?
EDIT: was it musky?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I NEVER ASKED AND I NEVER WANT TO KNOW

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

was it you, rory?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I've done many things in my time to bring shame on the family name
To date that list still excludes sticking my nose nor anything else up a strippers bumhole
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)

i promise to believe you
if you tell me some of the other stuff you've done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Time, drink and most importantly MD's have expunged much from the record
They were happy days
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:05, Reply)

You read it TWICE?
Good God man, you have the patience of a saint.

A SAINT, I tell you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

It's the stuff of iron cross second class material

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

And the rest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Was he in a lead free zone?
I don't see what the big deal with lead free petrol is anyway, round here we've had lead free churches for years!

And what about that satellite tv? Have you seen it...more people have seen the Loch Ness monster!

(These jokes provided courtesy of the year 1988)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

'What do you do if you see an Ethiopian drowning?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Throw in his wife and kids?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

THROW HIM A POLO!!!!1

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

hahahahahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Put your foot on his head

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Isn't it 'take your foot off his head'?
It was at my school.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

That was the 'how do you stop a (insert minority group here) from drowing' joke.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

'A GOOD START!!!!'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Somewhere Al has turned a shade of puce

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

He's turned the colour of his 'I HEART NICK CLEGG
AND THEREFORE MY JUDGEMENT IS DEMONSTRABLY FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED' rosette.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

When I was about 21 I was stopped and searched by the police
carrying enough MDs to put me in prison for several years (I was a foolish young man). They searched me, and then searched me again because they could probably sense my middle-class terror from 20 miles away. They found nothing.

The Filth = 0
Monty = 1
Society = -1
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Were they in your bloodstream

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

They (or a fair proportion of them) fucking were afterwards.
I was pretty jubilant/relieved, and celebrated in my own version of 'style'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Ravers +50

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I'll bet you were shitting yourself.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I really, really was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Did you rush home to throw up on your old mans slippers?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I didn't need to.
Because I was planning a big night out, I sensibly brought a pair of my dad's size 11s along with me in case I felt a bit sick. A most prudent decision THAT turned out to be, I can assure you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Still, as long as that worrying incident with the old bill meant you learnt a valuable lesson,
And you've not touched drugs since, there is no real harm done, is there?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

You've got too much of 'that', Jeff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I got too much of 'that' for a honkey?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

That's just like the scene in Monty Pythons "Life of Brian"
where the Roman soldiers search the building and only find a spoon...A SPOON MONTY!

You see it's funny because the place is full of badly hidden people!

Let's re-enact the scene, i'll be John Cleese and you be Graham Chapman..."What have the Romans ever done for us?"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

*letter bombs*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Half a mo - Chapman was a bender wasn't he?
I think it'd best if you handle the Chapman part, so to speak.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

He was? But he gets his cock out in that film
now I can't say that I haven't seen a gay mans penis.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Not seeing is not that same as "have not been penetrated by"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I am assuming you've seen your own penis
and therefore you could not have truthfully claimed that anyway.

I'M SAYING YOU'RE A BUMMER!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

As a morbidly obese shut-in who hasn't seen his cock in years
I find that comment insensitive at best
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)

...unlike your cock
that would probably go off like a spunky firework at the mere thought of Carol Vorderman's Tena Lady.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I'd give her "One from the top and any other five" that's for sure
I have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)