I hate those woman adverts
you know the ones. The ones with all the fake science names that apparently mean that your hair feels like a Labrador's and yet can bench-press 40lbs. The ones that contain all those little silicate spheres that fill in the wrinkles in your skin and make you look younger. The ones that they're now trying to target at men to make us feel insecure and ugly so that we'll buy their snake oil treatments.

To the World: You are going to age, get wrinkly and die. It happens to everyone. Try not to look like a totally gullible cunt in the meantime. Occasional moisturising will make your skin feel nicer if you're a girl. If you're a man and you're using products other than those designed to make your manly side parting stay in place, you're a shirter. Products advertised by the likes of Cheerrrl Ceerl and Gerard Butler do not fucking work.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:54, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

But what about the active nanospheres?
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE LIPOSOMES?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

THE PENTOPEPTIDES' FEELINGS ARE HURT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Oh no!
The makehairstrongeroxide will be jealous
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

But have a glass of bifidus digestivum, you'll get your TLC (tummy loving care, [TM] DON'T STEEL) and feel muuuuuuuch better!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Or a good shit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:59, Reply)

But.. but.. it was the SCIENCE bit. And SCIENCE is good, right?
And stuff is SCIENCE just because some cunt says it is, right?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:00, Reply)

What makes me really cross
is that anybody with half a brain can see that I'm right and yet the fucking stuff keeps flying off the shelves. Which means that it's the same brainless cunts that seem to exist purely for the purpose of getting in my way who're propping up the whole business.

We need a cull.
( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I put it to you
that you have repeatedly bought loads of stupid shit like Lynx and yet still failed utterly to have sex with anyone other than yourself, and this has built up into a hatred of advertising borne of this crushing disappointment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I wear unscented deoderant as I also wear cologne.

( Kroney, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

This is an excellent point
Lynx has singularly failed to cause hordes of women with a rampaging horn to charge in my direction, apart from that time I was also waving a "FUCKING LESBIANS" sign in the middle of a feminist march.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 12:13, Reply)