Ah, but surely that's exactly what I'd have expected you to do?
That heavy breathing behind you isn't a faulty air conditioner
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:09, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So
you're standing behind me AND in the room with the comfy bed?

Are you schizophrenic? Or....

You're not GOD, are you? Cause that would just be too horrific to contemplate.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:12, Reply)

My chamber. My rules.
It's not me behind you, anyway, I prefer giving the lady the option of choice. Chompy feels differently.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Right. Fine.
Do I get to know which door is which?

And how big is this bed, exactly? Big enough that I could avoid touching you in any way?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I've made it extra-specially large to accomodate your breasts. So yes.
You know which door is which but not the manner of certain death. It might involve being rogered to death by the cast of Interview with the Vampire.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Chompy?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)

You can read my mind
I strongly suggest you seek help to stop this happening again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Jesus Christ
That's a painful thought to be facing up to 1st thing on a Monday morning.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I can think of worse
A friend of mine posted on FB today that there's no sight more depressing than the naked body of your wife-to-be when you have to go to work. Whilst I see what he's getting at, I would suggest that the inclusion of the word "dead" in that sentence makes it considerably more depressing.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)