They probably bought the petrol for the petrol bombs in Tesco so they'd get a good price AND Clubcard points.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:39, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

a typical day in Bristol

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

And I'm going to do my bit for west country stereotyping shortly.
I'm going out for a drink.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Wear one shoe
When people ask, "Lose a shoe?" you can say, "No, I found one."
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:50, Reply)

A shoe!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:54, Reply)

A Monty Python CD kept me sane during the stop-start traffic
on the M6 yesterday.

"One more time mate. I'll take you to the fucking cleaners!"

Still one of the most awesome threats ever.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Alright you sexy mother f***er
How are you?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Good
Relaxing after the missus' cooked breakfast. I'm in Merseyside for a few days before heading further north back home. What's your sexy self up to this long weekend?
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Doing some DIY until later this afternoon
then driving slightly north west for a wedding tomorrow.

Send my love to your better half
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Will you be wearing dungarees with a toolbelt and a spirit level?
I'm trying to get a mental picture.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I'm wearing black trousers, a white t shirt and a dust mask

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Dance like Altern8 bitch!
*enhardens*
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Hi there Miss A.
Nice and sunny in Oxfordshire? Good weather for throwing stale bread at rowers?
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I'm in Bristol at the moment
and the weather is grey :(
How are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Ewww, the west is full of weirdos
In answer to your question: www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1179813
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

glad to hear it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Grey?
It's glorious here. Not that I am out in it.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Are you inside enjoying a double bed and a bottle of lube?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I'd hardly be on here if I was
there was some...unpleasantness this morning, and he left. I am not entirely sure at the moment if we will see each other again.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:25, Reply)

:S that's not good
him or you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Both, I suppose
we had a stupid argument and I got really annoyed and asked him to leave, which I instantly regretted saying. But he packed up and fucked off without another word, even though I tried to apologise.
I have spent most of the last two hours crying.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

oh
Bum

Sorry to hear that
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Yeah.
I have texted him but no response. I'm going away for two weeks so probably won't see him til I get back, if I see him at all ever. This makes me very very sad.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I'm really sorry to hear that :(
are you okay?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Not really.
Half of me thinks I probably should just let it go; he's clearly too good for me, he'll get bored sooner or later and ditch me anyway, and I really can't be arsed to put up with his emo-ing and the stress of stupid arguments.
The other half of me really, really, really wants this to work out. I don't know what to do.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I don't believe in
such-and-such is too good for me. No one should.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:02, Reply)

He is though.
I am too boring, shy, inexperienced etc etc etc to make him happy.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

And he's too ignorant, touchy and sensitive to make you happy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:05, Reply)

But when he's not being a douche
he's awesome.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:08, Reply)

you know when victims of domestic violence don't press charges
And say, but he loves me really, he just gets angry!

Yeah I totally just compared your situation to that of a battered spouse.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:13, Reply)

or the other way (the right way) of looking at it
Is that he's too much of a cunt for you, and you're better off without his pissy fits and immature behaviour.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:06, Reply)

this
I'm starting to understand why my roommates wife left her.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:13, Reply)

are gay people allowed to get married in virginia?
That's very progressive. I approve
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:15, Reply)

no, they're not
they just called eachother wife
do you know how many times i've had to hear "I JUST WANT MY WIFE TO COME HOME!"??????????????
fuck sake get a grip already
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Oh :(
You should make her have a jar and every time she says the "W" make her put a buck in the jar (yeah, check me out with my yankee slang terminology)
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I just may do that.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

- engross yourself in interesting subjects e.g. read interesting fact and fiction books, listen to interesting music, watch interesting films and plays, keep yourself informed of current affairs. You're guaranteed to be able to talk to someone about a subject that interests them, which, if we're being honest is selfishly all anyone wants.
- put yourself in positions that scare you e.g. complaining politely about poor service, going up to strangers with questions, socialising at parties with people you don't know. Shyness is simply not having the confidence to be outgoing because of a lack of practice of being outgoing. It's soon overcome.
- watch pornography. It's aimed almost exclusively at men and opens a disturbing window into the mind of the average bloke. But it lets women know what we're secretly after. Use the confidence gained from point 2 to master point 3.

Sorted. b3ta: self help and life coaching skills for the damned.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I'm all over point three like a rash.
It didn't help with points 1 or 2 when I tried to introduce myself to people at parties and talk about porn.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I have never watched porn
trufax.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:25, Reply)

When there are more holes in the plot line than in the women, then I'd rather switch on Come Dine With Me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Hahahaha!
The voiceover guy on Come Dine With Me is probably better, too.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

PornHub
Go on. Join the rest of the internet losers. Just keep telling yourself, "This is educational."
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Pfft.
Maybe. I am mildly concerned it will be weird, though.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I don't watch it
so you're in good company. As for insight into men, if that was what all men were like I'd become asexual
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:32, Reply)

a sexual what?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)

just asexual
means I wouldn't have sex with anyone
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Yes. I know.
I was merely making a terrible joke.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I'm not saying it's what men are like
For example, pornography contains 0% sensual, respectful love making. That's not to say that men don't really enjoy that but they probably do it in real life anyway. Porn is about escapism and is by definition unrealistic. I'm not advocating that's how it should be done, just pointing out that it reflects what is considered to be the average male idea of fantasy.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:40, Reply)

This is very true.
I mean, without porn, I'd have never considered growing a moustache getting a perm and becoming a plumber.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:42, Reply)

click

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:53, Reply)

This is one argument
I'm definitely not having! I'm sure my views are contrary to most people
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:44, Reply)

What are your views?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Not ones I'm willing to be mocked for

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Are you totally against any porn
in any way shape or form? That's not a view you would be mocked for.
Your views on the AV referendum, that's something I will argue with you about, but anyones view on porn is their own business.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I'm not against porn at all
what people watch is their own business. I do find the preponderance of porn based around humiliation, sexual abuse and violence, disturbing and think people need to realise how damaging the porn industry is to the actors as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)

www.minghella.com/wp-content/gallery/sitephotos/parmav.jpg
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Quite

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I disagree about you being contrary
I'd hope most people's reactions to seeing porn for the first time is shock i.e. that's not how it is in real life! I can't remember, was it al (al of all people) who was saying recently access to that kind of thing would worry him as a dad? Kids shouldn't grow up thinking it's normal because it's not.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Yes it was me
I'd be horrified if any child of mine went into the world thinking that the stuff you see in porn was in any way normal.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Are you answering as Lampito or Al?

( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:27, Reply)

:/
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, berk. Hope things sort out and you enjoy Croatia.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:31, Reply)

He's nowhere near too good for you.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I know you said it was a bit from both of you
but he does sound a bit easily touchy. After 2 weeks apart you'll be able to work out if it's still worth it or not. Try not to get upset over it. You've still got the rest of the bottle of lube yes?
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:53, Reply)

nah, she got upset and ate it
It was strawberry flavoured and she couldn't be bothered to walk to the shops
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I don't think I've ever been hungry or lazy enough
to nom in to a bottle of lube. And it's cherry flavour, by the way.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:59, Reply)

He is incredibly easily touchy
stupid boy. I just don't want us to part on bad terms. I've apologised, and told him as much, and he hasn't got back to me. I feel sort of in limbo, I'm not sure whether to just fuck it and go back to my parents, or hang about in the hope that he wants to see me again before I go.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:58, Reply)

You reached out and he's simmering on his own.
Take the initiative and get on with your original plans. He'll get in touch when he's ready.
( djtrialprice, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Does he breakdown and start crying if he faults on his first serve?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:05, Reply)

CALL THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHBULANCE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:06, Reply)

if he's that touchy, it seems like you either have to learn to walk oneggshells
Or just accept that he's not right for you. And the first option effectively makes you his absolute bitch for him to behave any way he wants. Which isn't good
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:04, Reply)

This has occurred to me, believe me
I still don't know what the hell to do though.
(berk, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:11, Reply)

a) he's not too good for you
that's absolute rubbish especially considering all his faults
b) If you want to fix it you can
c) before you go the route of b) consider can you put up with the constant angst he will inevitably provide you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:27, Reply)

tell him he acts more like a girl than you do

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:34, Reply)

And then punch him in the face and walk away

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Spoken like the true Lampito.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Fuck Yeah!
Lampitos of the world unite, and punch strangers, and then have sex with tall men.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I do like tall men.
When telling my mum about the boyf she shook her head and said "Is he one of your tall dark and skinny types?"
She knows me well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Awww, I bet your mum wouldn't mind a go on him either

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:57, Reply)

She said he looked a bit forrin.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Oh my god, your mum's a racist?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Haha, YES !
That has to be the third strike by now, no? Ovbously it ain't working, find a rebound and jog on.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I reckon she should start looking somewhere south of Cockfosters

(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Not to far south of cockfosters, devon would be waaaay off the mark of what I'm thinking.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:46, Reply)