I left school halfway through a single A-Level in Business Studies, the closest you could get to an IT qualification, to join a youth-training scheme as a dbase programmer with day release at Aylesbury college
which turned out to be a shithole, and I really disliked programming, so I turned my hand to a contract my boss got which was building an academic dial-up bulletin board system that predated the internet by about a year. I rather enjoyed that, and ran up a £100 quarter phone bill by spending ages online exchanging messages with relative strangers. Odd, seventeen years later and not much has changed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:39, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Alt:
My happy trail is off-centre. I appear to be able to walk many miles with few-to-no ill effects. I have shot spunk over my head in the past. I don't know if that's that strange.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:40, Reply)

who's spunk
is the question
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:41, Reply)

My own.
Not managed to get it in my eye yet, I reckon that's an instant thirty points, especially as I'm usually wearing my glasses.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:42, Reply)

well if you do
it will "...sting like nothing you've ever had in there..." quote from bad sex in fiction award winner some years ago
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I'll be honest here, I've felt many stingy things in my time, I find it hard to believe a little bit of splooge is going to hurt more than remnants of chopped chillies or tabasco sauce.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:45, Reply)

chillipiss!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Argh fuck no please no no no no chilli piss!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)

I can't believe that
I've wiped my eye after chopping chillis.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Zozizozizozizozizozizozizozizozizozizozi.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)

nooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Why don't you post during the day?
Have you got *gasp* one of those job things?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:54, Reply)

yeah
one I actually enjoy and I'm still in that honeymoon period where I don't want to take the piss.

I'm sure it'll pass.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:57, Reply)

And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)

*wanks*
Obviously not a fan of spicy foods.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:49, Reply)

Is that Giles Coren's work?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:49, Reply)

yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:50, Reply)

I remember reading that and in my head 'she' could only be Sue Perkins

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:52, Reply)

and coincidentally
that's how I just voted. I had THREE things to vote on. That makes it a good day
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:58, Reply)

*adds to list of things I never needed to know*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Please reveal the contents of the rest of this list.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Actually, that's all that's on the list.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 May 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Sweet, I'm number one!
*dances*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 May 2011, 20:00, Reply)

she burns the list after each new addition in the hope
that by this ritual she will burn the knowledge from her mind
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 20:01, Reply)

stop telling everyone about my rituals!
you're so not allowed in the cool kids clubhouse anymore.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 5 May 2011, 20:02, Reply)

oh man
I always spend my time hanging out in there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 May 2011, 20:06, Reply)