There is a slightly more gymnastic, unfrozen version
involving a stepladder
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:10, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I can't quite...
Perhaps some details might help me visualise?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I was hoping the stepladder reference would put you off
/maritalthighlengthincompatibilitylols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:16, Reply)

I don't need a stepladder.
Sportscow's pillow advice was spot-on *smugs*
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:20, Reply)

What did you do about the musk in the end?
Since the bleaching didn't work
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I think the only way to truly deal with it, is to somehow embrace the musk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I've heard careful use of a syringe
and peppermint essence can cure this. An option Happybara appears to have already explored
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Hey, that's in my back ...log
The syringe thing was a total non-event. Really. I can't overstate how utterly unerotic it was. They talk about the banality of evil. This was the banality of self-insemination.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:31, Reply)

But it's always good
to work into a conversation
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I should make a rule
to only go on B3ta when completely sober. I really should.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Rules are made to be broken.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

If only there was some way of bottling it....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Exactly, Monty!
It's there; It's part of nature's great plan and we should all just jolly well flare our nostrils and take a deep, deep breath.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:29, Reply)

I knew that boy had a use.
He might as well die now, mind you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Well, the musk is still there tbh
But I just believe it to be the natural odour of the healthy female anus in a state of arousal. And it is just musk, not excrement that assails the nostrils. My wife's hygiene is beyond reproach.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Is your real ladder still alive?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Dang
Also, good for you.

Right, the "live action" version of space docking involves a woman with powerful thigh and pelvic muscles so she can keep her gaping flange turned upwards, expectantly, for a prolonged period of time. It helps, of course, if the target area is so well-worked that it resembles some kind of Venus flytrap. The gentleman clambers atop a stepladder (or, for the more adventurous fellow, a pommel horse) and aims blindly for the fanny.

Pre-event meals should not include vindaloos.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Wonderful. That's the spirit!
Vivid mental images to titilate.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I would complain that it took you seven minutes to respond
but I suppose you only had one hand free
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

And now my monitor
looks like decorator's radio.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Hahahaha
*click*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 May 2011, 17:42, Reply)