While I have never really injured myself, due to my whippet-like
grace and speed, my brother has not been so lucky. He's cut his forehead with a razor, broken both collarbones, smashed all his front teeth out AND ripped open his scrotum.

As an added bonus, he fell over whilst snowboarding and took out 6 Frenchmen.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:05, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i told darth to take out his retainer before teabagging

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I demand that you remove my lunch from my keyboard and monitor.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

He should get a VC.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I have made it my life's mission
whenever I am stuck on a lift with French snowboarders, to convince them that "paedo" is the new cool term for a good trick. As in "Aw, man, that frontside 180 was totally paedo"

I'm sure I must have indirectly caused at least one arrest by now, I've been doing it for about 7 years.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

And 18 months ago you start to need facial reconstructive surgery.
Are you the sort to believe in karma?
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

there's no karma in the world for upsetting snowboarders
they were born deserving it. The French part is merely la glace sur le gateaux.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)