Right, Scaryduck doesn't want to play with us, new thread.
What was the last bone you broke/proper injury you sustained? I want vivid descriptions, blood and gore people!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:36, 153 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have never broken a bone or ever really hurt myself.
The only injuries I've sustained have been flesh wounds. I have the reflexes of a cat.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

And the face of a bulldog.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

It's rude to point.

( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Sorry.
*zips flies*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Ditto
Only been to hospital once, for a sprained ankle - 5 minutes of "yeah, that's sprained, here's an elasticated bandage, stay off it for a couple of weeks."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I rolled my car.
Sheared the passenger side front column.

Dislocated shoulder and fractured collarbone and more shattered glass than the hospital could be bothered to remove from my arms.

Pieces of glass were still working their way to the surface of my skin 6 months later.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Ew.
Accident or stupidity?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Just passed my test (I was 21)
Wet road, too fast on to a roundabout.

Got airborne.

That's how I roll.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

*Insert Bella joke of your choosing*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

She has a Communist's minge
It's like Rasputin's beard
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Russia's greatest love machine?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

rm nu
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Dislocated a finger and chipped a bone playing basketball a couple of years back.
One of the lady players barfed when she saw the damage. The end of the finger (the bit with the nail on it) was facing about 45 degrees from where it should have been.

I got a lift to A&E and I was taken through to be checked over. The doctor, without a hint of sarcasm asked me if I'd just done it. Now bearing in mind that I'd just told him that I had done it whilst playing basketball and I was at the time wearing a basketball vest, shorts, and boots, I thought that he could probably have worked that out for himself. Clearly not.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Perhaps he thought you were totally hip hop.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

"Is it cos I is black?"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Haha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Cut the end of my
middle finger off on a bench saw. And mangled the top of the one next to it.

That fair brought a tear to my eye.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Argh, someone posted a photo of just that on FB a couple of days ago.
GRIM.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

You are Tony Iommi AICMFP

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I broke a bone in my foot last year, by being a clumsy motherfucker
I was running for the bus, and managed to stamp on the side of a slightly raised paving stone, with my foot a bit skewed, breaking my 5th metatarsal.

That's about it really, rather dull I'm afraid!

The last visible injury I had was a fairly impressive black eye 2 years ago, lasted about a week.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Did you feel it go?
I broke a metartarsal playing rugby and didn't realise for a few weeks, until it got stamped on again.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Yep, hurt like a motherfucker

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Go on, who beat you up?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Got caught with a stray punch at a gig, guy was very apologetic afterwards.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I'd feel bad if I punched a spastic too

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Look, his whole face swelled up!
...Oh, sorry.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

bad aroused
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Shame your parents didn't, otherwise you might not have looked quite as much like Kuato

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I thought it was going to be loltastic
As a black eye it's at the lower reaches of sub-standard, no trauma to the eyeball, no visible swelling, bruising limited and fairly light in colouration. Conclusion : Gaylord
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

The white of the eye should be purple
And the bruising extend to the other side of the nose.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Oh god that happened to my mum
She fell down a mountain. She ended up with 2 black eyes, though one was only superficial. Burst blood vessels in the white, bright purple, down past the cheekbones, everything.

The Italian borderguard made a joke about domestic violence as they were driving home.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

That was the next day, it was far more impressive later in the week

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Have you ever thought you deserved to be hit for the what appears to be the worst attempt eva at a goatee ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Are you storing food in your cheeks for later?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I liked mine better
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1198554
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

First game of the cricket season 2 weeks ago
Our skipper strode purposefully out to bat. First ball he tried to sweep it down the leg-side, got a top edge and it hit him straight in the eye. Went down like a sack of shit. Had to be helped from the pitch. Could only see out of 1 eye for the next 3 days.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Oof, not good
Teaches him to wear a helmet though!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

No, it didn't.
Batted last weekend without one.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I bounced a batsman once and broke his nose, it literally exploded with blood
I would have felt bad, but he was a cunt and that was the only "wicket" i got that day,
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

As a young quick bowler I once inflicted a fracture cheekbone on an unsuspecting opening batsman
Shit happens.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

The worst one I've had in cricket was from batting with gloves slightly too small for me
The padding didn't cover the last half centimetre of my fingers, and I managed to get my fingers pinched between the ball and the handle from a fast bowler, splitting the fingertip. Stung quite a bit, that one did.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

In that case I have zero sympathy I'm afraid
I can understand doing it once, but more than once is simply not clever.

It's like batting without a box.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Helmets are for poofs, fact

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Well the thing is that we're in Scotland.
Generally the pitches are not as firm or as dry as they are down south.

I would say that maybe only 10-20% of all players wear a helmet when batting.

I don't. So far, touch wood, I've not had any major mishaps - apart from an incident in the nets about 20 years ago when I got caught on the cheek by a full toss (oo-er madam). That smarted somewhat.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Ahh, that's a bit more understandable then
Also, which do you find more painful - A ball bouncing into your shin, or into your forearm?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Testicles

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:39, Reply)

That's an entirely different class of pain
I meant between those two, both of which hurt far more than expected.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Probably shin
Got hit on the calf while batting last week. Hurt like fuck and I've got a bruise the size of my hand.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

my soon to be brother-in-law
was in the nets a week before his wedding. His brother bowled him an absurd ball which ended up smashing him under the chin. No major damage. Could've ended up with a toothless wedding.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

In devon that would not be very unusual

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

this was not in devon

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Not had any broken bones for years, but many cuts and punctures.
Last bone that was broken, was in my foot. I jumped off a moving milk float and it stopped on my foot. The milkman laughed and said it was no worse than being kicked by a horse. Milky cunt.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Mmmmm, milky cunt.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Milky cunt, may be my favourite new insult

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

touch wood
(and i would if i could)

nothing. i have a tiny scar on my hairline from when i smashed a swing into my own face as a 5 year old, and that's about it.

oh and two scars on my eyeballs from LASIK to bin off my contact lenses, but even the optician can't see those!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Steak and Ale Pot Pie today.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

ooh is it?
report back, i'm stuck in our staff restaurant today with colleagues!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Got it.
Nice.

Prefer the chicken one though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

i shall report to my friend who would marry the chicken one if she could

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:39, Reply)

While I have never really injured myself, due to my whippet-like
grace and speed, my brother has not been so lucky. He's cut his forehead with a razor, broken both collarbones, smashed all his front teeth out AND ripped open his scrotum.

As an added bonus, he fell over whilst snowboarding and took out 6 Frenchmen.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

i told darth to take out his retainer before teabagging

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I demand that you remove my lunch from my keyboard and monitor.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

He should get a VC.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I have made it my life's mission
whenever I am stuck on a lift with French snowboarders, to convince them that "paedo" is the new cool term for a good trick. As in "Aw, man, that frontside 180 was totally paedo"

I'm sure I must have indirectly caused at least one arrest by now, I've been doing it for about 7 years.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

And 18 months ago you start to need facial reconstructive surgery.
Are you the sort to believe in karma?
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

there's no karma in the world for upsetting snowboarders
they were born deserving it. The French part is merely la glace sur le gateaux.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

i have a hideously burnt face that i have to keep hidden from the world
tbh it's set me back socially a bit and I often find myself singing of my love for a woman i can never have. i do have a lovely cape though.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Simon?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I had a three-pint-a-day milk habit until I was about 17,
as a result my bones are virtually indestructible. As evidenced by my last decent injury, when I slipped on a beery dancefloor and essentially elbow-dropped it. Swelled up to twice the size, bruised so badly that the orthopaedic surgeon I got to take a look at it was impressed, but no bony injury whatsoever.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

You are wolverine's skinny cousin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

My sideburns are nowhere near that good.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It's a sort of "Twins" thing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Wolverine and Weasel.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Wellgroomedwolverinee

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

That defeats the point, surely?
Hugh Jackman does not suit smart.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

He was smart in the Prestige, I think
www.imdb.com/media/rm419532544/tt0482571
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Sounds like Viggo Mortensen

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

He is Viggo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Christ, Peter MacNicol is such an irritating cunt in that film
...come to think of it, he's always an irritating cunt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Vy am I dripping viz goo?
I dunno, he's good in Numbers
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Never watched it to be honest, I know him from Addams Family Values, Ally McBeal, 24 and Ghostbusters 2
He's irritating in all of them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

the only time i've been in an ambulance (as at 12.08 on thu 12 may, again touch wood)
was at alton towers. all those lovely lovely dangerous high-speed rides, and my friend managed to split his chin open and need 5 stitches... on a see-saw.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Last night I severed a bone from another bone.
Then I gave it to the dog to eat. Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahaha ah ah ah ah aha ha ha ha aha ha a

*breathers*

No, I've never broken anything. Took a massive chunk out of my shin once, through sheer stupidity. Right down to the bone, which to be fair, isn't that far on a shin. Story here.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

My brother and I have matching scars on the underside of our chins.
Mine was self-inflicted - it had been snowing and stopped, I was catapulting small piles of snow into the air using a bit of wood as a seesaw. Dad says "careful, that'll fly up and hit you in the face". You get the idea.
My brother chose an alternative method of growing his six-stitch mini-beard. He jumped into a swimming-pool while executing a 180-degree volte-face, but was sadly lacking sufficient forward velocity. You get the idea.
Can you tell that we're related?
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

You really don't want a vivid description
(repost for the nth time) Hockey stick to the face 18 months ago, shattered maxilla, shattered palette, lost 4 teeth, at last count have had 2 maxillofacial reconstructions, one bone graft, and have just had the implant pegs put into the reconstructed jaw. All under local anasthetic. I don't recommend it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

O_O

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

POIDH

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Oh, it most defintely did happen.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I think you're winning.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Hence your icon.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

you should finish this story with
"that's why I'm so pretty"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

haha. nice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Hockey is for girls.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

6 replies, it takes.
fucking hell, /OT. You're losing your touch.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

We never had a "touch"
except that one time, but he got banned pretty quickly.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I have to do everything for these people.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I have bigger problems with lacrosse.
That's a girl's game.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

In the sense that it's almost entirely played by girls, yeah.
Men's lacrosse is a fucking dangerous game. It's up there with hurling, which is essentially hockey played at head height by psychopaths.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

My mum played it at school.
Therefore it's a girl's game played by girls, whatever their gender.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I played it at school. An all-girls school.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Proof right here.

( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

hurling is dangerous
mixed group hurling even more so
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Never broken a bone, apart from insignificant ones in my feet
which apparently everyone breaks.

Not technically an injury, but my neck swelled up to around twice its usual size about 2 weeks ago when I had tonsilitis. I slit my hand open down to the tendon, though it was only a tiny cut (only about 1cm long) Still visible now.
The most disturbing upsetting was when I did a TGB and cut my legs to shreds (accidentally). Covered the bathroom floor with blood, had to sit bleeding in the bath while my mum mopped the floor, didn't stop bleeding for 3 days. No scars, or anything. Bloody razors. Literally.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

this reads like
"my neck swelled up because of tonsilitis so I slit my hand open down to the tendon"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I was bored, ok!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

This reads like
"I'm better than you."
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I am.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

me too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:51, Reply)

laaaaaast injury is from my ccar accident.
I tore the muscles holding my hip togehter.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I got some impressive bruises playing rugby
and have broken most of my fingers, toes and a couple of metatarsals, but the only impressive injuries I've had were from coming off my moped (multiple fractures to the top of my humerus, in the shoulder ball-and-socket bit, which the hospital kindly failed to diagnose or give me physio for) and being shoved in to a barrier at a festival, breaking two ribs. Oh and once my mum got me so drunk I fell over and broke my nose. Suave, me?
(berk, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Drunken falling over is something I've managed to avoid, christ knows how
Those are some fairly impressive injuries there though!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I broke my leg when I slipped on a poo last time I was round Kroney's.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Confuchsias say
"Man who walk on bog paper, no get shitty feet".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:42, Reply)

The well known gardening philosopher?

( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Confuchsias say
'people are always mixing me up with that annoying Chinky cunt Confucius, it gets right on my fackin 'ampton I tell ya'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Confuschias he say
"Man who prunes regularly, gets swollen plums"
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:50, Reply)

/deliberate.
Honest.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Confucius, he say
"Man who walk in front of car will get tired. Man who walk behind car will get exhausted"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Are you sure?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

tyred

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Broke my Left hand a couPle of years ago
Changing gear was interesting for a few weeks. Apart from that no other significant breaks. Lots of cuts though.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I've never broken a bone that I know of
though I suspect that I may have broken a toe unknowingly. No-one in my family has ever broken a bone. I reckon we must have really strong bones.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Or are very risk averse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I thought I'd broken a bone last time Dr Francesca Stavrakopoulou was on tv,
Turned out it was merely a banjo sprain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I bumped into her in a bar the other night.
Rumped it.

She was rubbish.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I just bumped into Simon Mayo, i didn't rump it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Was he praying?
To his god?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Is he a god botherer?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Yeah.
Fucker.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I hope he dies, then we'll see if he's right

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Why don't we all die then we can point and laugh at him.

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Cos I'll be rotting in my atheist grave with nowt for company but the worms

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

He should be praying to
Vulcan, Mars and Juno. Like us.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Live long and prosper.

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Never broken a bone but I'm always covered in bruises.......if I'm lucky.

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Never broken a bone
Last time I tasted blood was when Ms Foxtrot clocked me in the face with her elbow doing an alamana turn. Happens to everyone, I guess.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

how about all those scars from the savage beating you received
from whoever was holding the ugly stick?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

They're hidden under the makeup

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

First rule of Domestic Violence Club
Punch above the hairline.

Second rule of Domestic Violence Club

No smoking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:07, Reply)

NakedApe is right
NakedApe is cleverer than you

How does that make you feel?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Smug!
It's his default setting.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I don't quite see how you infer that he is cleverer than me from that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

As per the new etiquette here is an announcement: i have started a new thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I have a scar on my thumb in the shape of a serrated knife from where I was trying to open a bottle of bath oil
there was blood EVERYWHERE
thought they were going to have to remove my thumb
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Well you shouldn't stick it up "there" should you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Broken bones, stab wounds, scarred tongue
Got 'em all (I actually bit through my tongue - not recommended!)
I'll have a new scar next tuesday as I'm having a bilateral posterior foraminotomy* of vertebrae C5 C6 & C7. I'm considering a tattoo of a zip over it once it's healed. Anyone recommend a good tattoo artist?


* Google it - it's gruesome.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 12 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Stay strong for us Captain Placid

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 12 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I attempted to do womans work and a glass broke in two
www.b3tards.com/u/98480917b02b1414508e/dsc01557.jpg

www.b3tards.com/u/98480917b02b1414508e/dsc01562.jpg

I've had way worse if you read my profile but this was the most recent.
( Peej, Thu 12 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)