I'm off to a wine tasting in the West End in a minute.
I am wearing flip-flops and a t shirt that shows a nun licking an ice lolly with the words 'THE DEVIANTS' emblazoned above. Not the done thing. I am expecting some turned-up noses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:45, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I can imagine. Flip-flops at a wine tasting! Gross.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:46, Reply)

It's in a private members' club as well.
I really should be suited and booted, not dressed like a fucking vagrant, but hey ho. I shall not be spitting any of the wines out, either - 'fuck that shit, fuck that shit' as CombiChrist would have it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I foresee
A very drunk Monty, stumbling through the streets of London with a single flip flop at some stage this evening.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:50, Reply)

This may well come to pass.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I hate when that happens

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:53, Reply)

well go on then, I'm sure you have something lying around

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I'm going straight from work. No smartening-up opportunities at all.
Fuck 'em. I am PUNK ROCK and they'll just have to deal with it, yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:56, Reply)

i mean i reckon

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

I hope when you get the wine tasting you make a point of sampling everything and then saying
'Yeap, that tastes like wine'

Before moving on to the next one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I intend to mutter 'this is fucking repulsive' afer each sip.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Ask them if they've got any blue nun or black tower.
And if they've got neither, maybe suggest a nice glass of Lambrini and a 'big chunk of cheddar cheese might be just the ticket'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Or a bottle of Hock.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

'Ere, pal - have you got any o' thorse fookin' cheese an' pineapple hedgehog things?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:53, Reply)

'Cheese ball sir?'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:55, Reply)

"no, it's just the way I'm standing"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:02, Reply)

hehehehehe

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:04, Reply)

'no, my washing machine's on the blink and it's just not draining properly'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:03, Reply)

last one I went to this old lady said "MY FAVORITE IS WHITE ZINFANDEL, IS THIS LIKE THAT?!"
I had to stop myself from laughing.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:52, Reply)

This will be my catchphrase tonight.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

"I like that wine on the shelf at 711, the red one"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:59, Reply)

A friend of mine was working in a wine shop
and one day this dimwit went in there and was going on about this amazing wine they'd had when they were in France and how they'd written it down in the hope of getting some back here, and handed him a piece of paper that read.......

'Vin de Table'.

My pal didn't know what to say so he said he'd 'have a look out the back to see if they had any'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:02, Reply)

Maybe comment to the sommelier that 'his job would be easier if he just used boxes of wine, rather than all these bottles'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:00, Reply)

"Do you put new wine in these bottles? It'll save a lot of money"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:03, Reply)

I love White Zinfandel.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:05, Reply)

it's alright, but there wasn't a bottle to buy within a 5 block radius

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:07, Reply)

Monty at closing time

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:54, Reply)