Bored now.
Desert island discs/Room 101 mash-up.

What song and thing would you love to have as yours forever?

What song and thing would like to see die a miserable, squalid death being arse-raped by syphalltic dwarves?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:08, 204 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh man I love music threads.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Noel's 15" Black Rubber Cock

( Peej, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:10, Reply)

you may have to specify which category you want that in

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Choose one
or two I don't care
( Peej, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:12, Reply)

:(

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:13, Reply)

FUCK YEAH, THAI FRIDAY AND COLD BEERS ARE IN THE KITCHEN HELL YEAH I FUCKING <3 MY JOB YEAH YEAH YEAH !!!
Oh man
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:15, Reply)

www.firebox.com/product/3748/Bacon-Unisex-Perfume
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I'll take Off He Goes by Pearl Jam as a one to keep

I'll burn anything by Kate Bush
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I only know one song by Pearl Jam, and I don't think that's it.
I can't actually remember what it *is* called though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Alive.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

might be Evenflow

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Probably the next most likely.
Or possibly Jeremy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

if it isn't one of those 3 I'll eat my hat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

But if you do that everyone will be able to see your hair
which I note has become even more ridiculous since I last said it was ridiculous. You look like you've put Justin Biebers hair on you head, but then twisted sideways suddenly so it slipped.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

it looks even more ridiculous now
because it's got even longer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

No, I think you were right.
'Alive' sounds vaguely familiar. Is that a good one to know?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

It goes "Ooooooooo, I'm still alive, Ooooooooooo, I'm still alive"

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

That's the one!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

It is a good one to know
An excellent song
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Chances are it isn't that one
Al is most likely correct
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Could be Jeremy
Black was my favourite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

curse you
that's my favourite, off that album at least
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

That's stunning
We've agreed on something. Something to do with music, as well. That NEVER happens.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

it is unusual, I'll give you that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Right, let's see how far we can push this
Favourite Metallica song
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

One

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

That would be about number 3 or 4 on my list

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Not heard too much TBH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

oh man, that's too hard
I like many of them equally and for different reasons.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I'd probably plump for Sanitarium.
But then again, Enter Sandman is excellent too. And I've always really liked "Wherever I may roam"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I'm shocked at taking stuff from the black album
Both good songs too. And the last one (of which I cannot remember the name)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I also love My Friend of Misery and Of Wolf and Man
but then you have to consider Fade to Black, Ride the Lightning, Call of the Chtulu, Battery, Master of Puppets, Disposable Heroes, Damage Inc., Blackened, Fixxxer, All Nightmare Long....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I'd go for Sanitarium
Vippers does make a lot of good points below. Right. Favourite G'n'R song.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

You Could Be Mine or Civil War probably
although Sweet Child has one of (if not the) greatest guitar solos ever
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)

You must have a special version that I've never heard, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)

you're a miserable old cunt.
by any reasonable standard it is a really fucking good solo
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

It's a brilliant solo
Monty just doesn't understand all this modern music which doesn't have a washboard player.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

It's quite good. Nothing more, to my ears.
Like all of their output - nothing raises about a 'quite good'. I hate the syrupy tone to 'Axl Rose's' voice, too: it makes me feel queasy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)

the dynamics of it are absolutely superb
as is the way it fits with the rhythm.

Axl's voice is kind of shit, but musically they were leaps ahead of most other rock bands at that time. A lot of the rhythm guitar work is outstanding
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)

They weren't leaps ahead of anyone.
At their best they were churning out sub-Zeppelin riffs with generic LA 'metal' vocals, and at worst schmaltzy, cheesy pap that owed as much to Elton fucking John as anyone decent.

You cannot argue they were doing anything new, surely? Whether you like them or not they weren't doing anything that hadn't been done before by Johnny Thunders or Aerosmith or whoever - from the 'Jack Daniels and drugs image' to the sound of the records.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)

They were a lot like Aerosmith.
But just adapted for the 80s, which, ironically, Aerosmith totally failed to do themselves until "Done with Mirrors".
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I agree that the image stuff was all old news
but particularly with the rhythm guitar stuff it is much better than most rock bands.

I wouldn't compare them to Zeppelin, and early Aerosmith is definitely better, but there's no denying that they could really play their instruments.

Thing is, there was a transition from rock music like Zeppelin which had a lot of feeling in it, like the old blues stuff, to stuff that was more produced and stuff, and of those bands Guns and Roses were pretty much the best.

Not glowing praise in your eyes, but for those of us who can still appreciate that there was good rock music produced during that period...

edit: at least they weren't Motley fucking Crue, who by their own admission don't know why they were popular.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Motley Crue had literally nothing of merit to them whatsoever.
I feel the same way about KISS. I have absolutely no idea why people like them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Kiss have literally only one half decent song, "I was made for loving you"
and they wrote that because they wanted to show how easy it was to write a disco hit. Shame they didn't manage to write any good songs in other genres.

I fucking loathe Kiss, and all their stupid stupid fans.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I think 'Crazy Crazy Nights' is possibly the gayest song I've ever heard*.
Those money-grubbing cunts have never had a crazy fucking night in their lives. Wankers.



*even gayer than Mighty Real by Sylvester.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I hear on Planet Rock that Kiss are planning a "Kiss Kruze"
whereby they get a load of their wanker "army" on a boat and play shit music at them, while travelling from Florida to the Bahamas or something.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:10, Reply)

*tips off Somali pirates*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)

that would be fucking awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I'll tell you what though
Def Leppard are fucking shit. Joe Elliot is a wanker and I wish he'd get off the fucking radio.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

And I want!
And I need!
And I Love!
Animal!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)

You are Jeff AICMFP

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

*click*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Awful, awful cunts.
'Pour some sugar on mayyyy' - fuck off. I'd like to pour boiling fucking oil on them and their Deacon fucking drummer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)

fucking northern cunts

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Hey!! Vipros!!
Let's Get Rocked!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Oh, the hysteria.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)

arg, them and fucking White Snake make my skin itch
"I suppose a rock is out of the question?"

Fuck you, you fucking shitbags
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Whitesnake are completely fucking dismal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I was disgusted when I found out that some of my favourite Deep Purple songs featured David Coverdale on vocals
I felt betrayed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I hate to admit it - and the tune it's on is appalling,
but the solo on 'Another Brick in the Wall' is one of my favourites. It hurts me to post this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

that is a good one
for similar reasons
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)

That's fucking spooky
Civil War is my favourite, hands down. Have overplayed Sweet Child at my night now, but I could never get tired of that solo
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

that is strange
it's a sadly overlooked song
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Yeah, I never understood why it didn't get more credit
I know it goes on a bit, but Estranged and November Rain both clock in just shy of 9 minutes IIRC
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)

November Rain is fucking awful - and the video is equally as poor.
That song is embarrassing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)

NO WAI!
The video is fantastic, especially the bit when it starts to rain and, for no reason at all, one of the guests decides the only way he can possibly shelter is by jumping THROUGH the wedding cake.

Also, Slash walking out of what, from the inside, looks like a cathedral, to emerge from a tiny church in the desert so he can play his guitar solo.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)

haha
this
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I cannot think of anything you could have said that would have surprised me less
Everything I know about your music taste tells me that November Rain is absolute anathema to you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I like Patience
Although I do have a soft spot for the excessive craziness of November Rain
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Don't Cry
because I'm a sucker for a Power Ballad. But if you want my favourite good song of theirs, then probably Welcome to the Jungle
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I overlooked Welcome to the Jungle in my selection
hmmm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Porch for me, especially live

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

that is a good one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Excellent live
Extended solo section that is different each time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Book of Exodus lols

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I'll have Little Earthquakes as my song to keep forever
Mainstream British musical releases 1994-2000 can burn in hell, with a few notable exceptions
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Hmmm- Photosynthesis by Frank Turner, and a constantly refilling bottomless money pit.
And the IMF can die a slow and painful death if I had my way, and anything Simon Cowell has had something to do with. Also Stock Aitken Waterman.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Oh, the musical output of PWL
God, anyone my age must shudder to remember the horror of the late eighties school disco.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I only went to one, and for less than a minute.
I had got fucked right up on the playing fields beforehand and walked in, to be frogmarched quickly straight back out again by a sympathetic teacher who told me to do myself a favour and bugger off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Unfortunately, as I was a boarder, I had no choice but to attend the school disco
which was just peachy, as I was a complete social leper.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Oh I don't know - I quite liked their song 'Unbelievable'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

It's a song about your 'newbie' claims, young Weighters.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Thank you!
I was really struggling to think of an EMF song title there.

Mainly because I was thinking of KLF.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

ALL ABOARD ALL ABOARD WOAH!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)

KLF ARE GONNA ROCK YOU!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I want Right in Two by Tool
and this
www.espguitars.com/guitars/ltd-standard-deluxe/ec-1000_blk.html

Everything by U2 and U2 themselves can get the arse-raping
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

How much is that?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

£700 ish I think

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Hmmmmmmmm.
Might have to treat myself.

Once i retire.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

well, the last one I decided I needed was £1200
so this is an improvement on that.

£700 sits nicely between the prices of the ones I already have, so it wouldn't make them envious.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Nice
I'm more of a Strat chap but that is very nice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

have you seen my strat?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I think so, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

well then
you'll know that I already have a very nice one, and don't need another
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I'll keep Never Knew Love (Reverend Jefferson Mix) by Oleta Adams
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyIvWumkErI

Burn Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. I hate that fucking song (and indeed I fucking DO).
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

1. Voodoo Child (slight return) by Jimi Hendrix, and his burnt guitar from the Monterey Pop Festival '67
2. I have no idea where to begin.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I had to give up on both questions.
I just couldn't choose just one thing for either.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

The thing I'd like to see burn is hell is my own clumsiness.
I've broken 6, possibly 7 (hard to tell from the fragments) bits of crockery in the past week.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

My song forever is Bunny Ain't No Kind of Rider, and my thing is being skinny and eating whatever I want.
I hate lots of music. I'm not too sure.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I would keep Tom Sawyer by Rush
and I would cut up Tom Sawyer by Rush.

Do you see what I did there?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I would keep Monty's broken kitchen door handle
Lol.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I still have it - it's yours.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WEytN7FQIo
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Everlong by Foo Fighters,
thing, erm...no idea

die: that 'what if god was one of us' song and all e-mails with annoying backgrounds

YOu wanna see a picture of me reimagined as a robot by a 3 year old?
up2.it/ali/daisypic_small.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)

I'd tap that.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)

shall I put it on my OKC profile?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I've sooooo given up on that.
Sad Times, no love for Gonz, GUTTED, shouldn't have been born so ugly.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:06, Reply)

That is an uncanny likeness.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

i know, that girl is an artistic genius
also, did you spot my guinea pigs on there, too?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I wondered what they were meant to be

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)

omg I so agree with the what if god one
ugh
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:12, Reply)

there's another version called
what if god smoked cannabis

it's a bit less shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)

It doesn't sound it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

consider how shit the original is
and then think of a "comedy" version that might make the side of your mouth almost twitch upwards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

still makes me gag on my humanity

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

it's the epitome of
shallow people pretending they've had a deep thought
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:14, Reply)

yeah, but what IF God was one of us?
would he like cheap champagne?
I think Jesus could get down with cheap champagne.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

just that first line makes me want to
vomit up my spleen
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)

that would probably hurt, let's not talk about that anymore.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I thought music was forever.
I'd like to see "What's Going On" by Four Non Blondes to die a miserable death by fire
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:11, Reply)

man I hate that song
good choice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:12, Reply)

only unwashed tree hugging hippies like that song
so it's probably noel's favorite
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)

it's one of those songs like Bitch by Meredith Brooks
that empowered women like.

I bet Kitty and Applebite love it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:14, Reply)

god THAT is another one I hate

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

The more I learn about you, the more I like you Kristine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

yeah, but this is also offset by the fact that I love NDubz

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)

everyone is allowed one mistake

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

fuck off piston, etc

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

I don't think I know it
I suspect I wouldn't like it

I'm totally empowered, though, I wear trousers and everything
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I'm a biiiiiiiiiiiitch, I'm a loverrr, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I want to fucking kill myself for even typing it out
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

oh that one
meh, I don't care for it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

I have a few stronger words I'd use.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I might have one or two knocking about, myself.
'You're a twat, you're a wanker, you're a flid, you're a etc etc'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:32, Reply)

"you're a cunt, you're a moron, I want to cut your face"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Where have those two disappeared off to, anyway?

( Kroney, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)

They're too empowered to deal with us L00z0rZ now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:19, Reply)

hahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Oh what's that awful one about the bird having a fucking wank?
That's another 'empowered' classic.

I'm definitely going to punch a woman tonight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Or write a song about
wanking while screaming the lord's prayer. See how they like it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I touch myself
by thingamabob.

Edit: Vinyl something?
( Kroney, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

That's the one. Hate. It.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:31, Reply)

The Devinyls

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:32, Reply)

You are doing unwashed tree hugging hippies a disservice here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

that song reminds me of working on a delicatessen

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Because it's cheesy?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

because of they ham up the song

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Because hearing it
makes you want to hack into a carcass with a sharp knife?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)

We could end up in a pickle with this pun down.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)

what's the problem? Too chicken?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)

That's not English.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)

ham as in 'to ham something up'
it makes sense, damn it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Yes dear. Hamming something up. Got it.
'because of they ham up the song' is not English. You are missing a good two words. I suggest 'the' and 'way' might come in handy here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

yeah
you have a point, I suppose you want some kind of biscuit for this revelation?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Perhaps you'd like me to attempt to retrieve your size 9 Clark's from the English Channel?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:26, Reply)

lolwhut?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Monty is calling you a Deacon.
A Deacon of the JOEY variety.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)

i don't get it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:30, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Great, great call.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:15, Reply)

'Fast Car' by sweaty-faced shemale Tracy Chapman really fucks me off
I hate it. It's like Joan Armafuckingtrading. Lezzer music, and shit for it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:22, Reply)

OH GOD YES. I basically hate every guitar strumming lesbo singing soul and hippy shite
Except for Kristy Lee. I like her a little.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Is Kristy related to Rusty?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)

doubt it
alright jeff?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:31, Reply)

I still feel like shit.
I've been ill all week and I'm bored now. So so bored.

You having a good day?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:33, Reply)

nah, back has been hurting like I've been stuck under a fallen building for 3 days, left work early and almost got hit by a car
am home now with a heating pad
can't go out tonight because I can hardly walk
but woo pool tomorrow

why not pop down the pub pub pub pub pub??
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:39, Reply)

I'm hoping to spend the weekend at some sort of urban art festival
But if I go to the pub this evening I'll probably feel like shit again tomorrow, so another night off should give me a fighting chance of making it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:44, Reply)

true enough
I hope you make it tomorrow
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:47, Reply)

There is more chance of me having a weekend of fun if I take it easy this evening.
If I go out tonight I expect it to be game over for tomorrow.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I'd rather get drunk on friday than saturday.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:53, Reply)

I'm off to a wine tasting in the West End in a minute.
I am wearing flip-flops and a t shirt that shows a nun licking an ice lolly with the words 'THE DEVIANTS' emblazoned above. Not the done thing. I am expecting some turned-up noses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I can imagine. Flip-flops at a wine tasting! Gross.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:46, Reply)

It's in a private members' club as well.
I really should be suited and booted, not dressed like a fucking vagrant, but hey ho. I shall not be spitting any of the wines out, either - 'fuck that shit, fuck that shit' as CombiChrist would have it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I foresee
A very drunk Monty, stumbling through the streets of London with a single flip flop at some stage this evening.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:50, Reply)

This may well come to pass.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I hate when that happens

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:53, Reply)

well go on then, I'm sure you have something lying around

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I'm going straight from work. No smartening-up opportunities at all.
Fuck 'em. I am PUNK ROCK and they'll just have to deal with it, yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:56, Reply)

i mean i reckon

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

I hope when you get the wine tasting you make a point of sampling everything and then saying
'Yeap, that tastes like wine'

Before moving on to the next one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I intend to mutter 'this is fucking repulsive' afer each sip.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Ask them if they've got any blue nun or black tower.
And if they've got neither, maybe suggest a nice glass of Lambrini and a 'big chunk of cheddar cheese might be just the ticket'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Or a bottle of Hock.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

'Ere, pal - have you got any o' thorse fookin' cheese an' pineapple hedgehog things?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:53, Reply)

'Cheese ball sir?'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:55, Reply)

"no, it's just the way I'm standing"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:02, Reply)

hehehehehe

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:04, Reply)

'no, my washing machine's on the blink and it's just not draining properly'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:03, Reply)

last one I went to this old lady said "MY FAVORITE IS WHITE ZINFANDEL, IS THIS LIKE THAT?!"
I had to stop myself from laughing.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:52, Reply)

This will be my catchphrase tonight.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

"I like that wine on the shelf at 711, the red one"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:59, Reply)

A friend of mine was working in a wine shop
and one day this dimwit went in there and was going on about this amazing wine they'd had when they were in France and how they'd written it down in the hope of getting some back here, and handed him a piece of paper that read.......

'Vin de Table'.

My pal didn't know what to say so he said he'd 'have a look out the back to see if they had any'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:02, Reply)

Maybe comment to the sommelier that 'his job would be easier if he just used boxes of wine, rather than all these bottles'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:00, Reply)

"Do you put new wine in these bottles? It'll save a lot of money"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:03, Reply)

I love White Zinfandel.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:05, Reply)

it's alright, but there wasn't a bottle to buy within a 5 block radius

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 18:07, Reply)

Monty at closing time

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:54, Reply)

AWOOGA.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:33, Reply)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:35, Reply)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAAAA-AAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Algernon Winston Castleray Razamatazz!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Ugh, Joan Baez. Joan fucking Baez.
WHY???? WHY ARE YOU SUBJECTING ME TO THIS CAVALCADE OF MEDIOCRITY???

'I dreamt I saw Joe Hill'
Really? I dreamt I staved your face in with a hammer and chisel you fucking conk-nosed Greek 'female Bob Dylan' cuntstain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:35, Reply)

If I could
I would destroy anything by Adele, what a load of excruciating drivel. Closely followed by the pap dished out by Florence and her Fucking Machine. Two artists that sum up all that is wrong with todays audiences. Get a woman to sing overwrought nonsense and it is immediately declared 'amazing, intense and the new Kate Bush'. It wasn't, isn't and never will be. Being able to hold a note does NOT mean that the content is AMAZING and SOULFUL.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:45, Reply)

'One in Kate Bush is worth two in the hand', as they said when I were a lad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 17:50, Reply)