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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Thought I'd better get it out the way while your were already down.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:32, 1 reply, 15 years ago)
Your delicacy is gratefully received
Is this because you think I'm a gay?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:35, Reply)
No.................................it's because you keep prattling on about football.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
And cricket!
You like cricket! You're geographically compelled to!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)
Only because my nephew loves cricket.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
He is wise beyond his years

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)
Cricket is the business
My GF has just bought me a new bat. She's crazy like that.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)
Good morning Reverend
Can you account for your whereabouts, specifically pertaining to the England dressing room at Lord's, at around 3pm yesterday?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Good day to you young Darth
I was pissing myself laughing at the BBC internet text commentary on the 'WindowGate' furore. Lolarious.

At our game on Saturday the other team had a batsman who was a complete helmet. Shouting 'fuck' at the top of his voice all the time, belittling his batting partner, etc. Re-taking his guard after every ball. "Is that off-stump?"...."Is that off-stump?"....etc. What a tool.

When we got him out he went over to the scorer to find out how many he'd got.

"29? 29? Is that all? That's fucking shit!" he bellowed at the young lady doing the scorebook. He then proceeded to hit his bat off anything and everything on his way into the dressing room.

My GF apparently used to go to school with him. He had big ginger hair back then and was bullied relentlessly.

We were all for taking him back to his school days round the back of the pavillion, the spoilt little arsehole.

So how's you mate?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
What a quality fellow
I knew many like him at school, they were mostly the bullies though. Very sad when a child can be harrassed so much that he wishes to become like those who abuse him *cough*Rory*cough*

Very well thank you sir. Tell me of this bat your GF has kindly bought you.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
He's an only child, spoiled by parents, then beaten shitless at school as a result.
And it's not taught him any lessons at all. How he's made it to his late 30s without getting a cricket stump up his rusty sheriff's badge is quite beyond me.

Edit: the parallels with Rory seem uncanny, come to mention it.

She bought me a Kookaburra Kahuna 300. Over a hundred quid's worth. She does crazy shit like that. She bought me a load of kit for my last birthday - new boots, kit bag, pads, gloves, the works. She's nuts, but actually awesome.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
A Kahuna 300?!
At the risk of exceeding the acceptable level of geekery, surely that's the Firebolt of the non-izarding world. You are a lucky fellow. Although you realise she'll be buying herself a better one soon enough.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Funnily enough,
She's bought herself some kit as well! She's been in the nets a few times, and played a couple of times as well. Sunday was the first time she'd batted though. She was out for a duck bless her, but she hung around for a couple of overs.

She's bought quite a cool 'ladies' bat. It's a Newbery Chic or something like that. Quite girly with a pink handle - you'd love it! ;-)
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
KP uses a pink handled bat too

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
And often bats like a girl.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Unfair
He never bats like a girl, he always bats like a bloke. Sometimes that bloke is an absolute dickhead, that's all
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)
Well that's true - I was just being flippant
His technique is essentially flawed, and he's not really addressed it.

Ally Cook had technical failings, addressed them, and hasn't looked back. KP would do well to learn from that.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Cook is batting superbly at the moment
On current form he must be the best opening batsman in the world, if the world were reconfigured to not include India. And you're quite right about KP, he seems to have deemed the most simple lesson of batting - leave the good balls, punish the bad ones - unimportant to a man of his considerable gifts.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Exactly
If this was his first year in international cricket he'd have been dropped before now, but because he's "established" then he gets away with it.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)
And there are very few middle-order batsmen in the world, let alone England
who can score runs like he can when he's on form.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Yes but his periods of form are becoming few and far between.

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Agreed
He needs to re-evaluate his batsmanship if he wants to claim a place as one of the game's greats. And I think we all know he does.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Howzat?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Not out
My closet is fucking huge
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

huge empty now I have left it
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
*sigh*
That was the joke, dear. Not out... of the closet
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
I have been up since 4am
This is my excuse for everything today
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Including David N'Gog?
Sorry mate, one of our strikers is on his way to join the filth, I'm feeling unkind
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
"Get back in the hut"
As our skipper would say. Our perhaps kennel in your case Jeff.

"Hot's on the left, cold's on the right."
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
It's hutch. Get back in the hutch.
Your skipper is a FOOL. But we'd previously established this, I believe.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
Well yes, he is. Most captains are.
My lad played for us on Sunday for the 1st time. He scored 6 not out. He was brilliant. I was so proud of him.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Superb!
How old is he?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
He's 13. He's only had about 4 or 5 goes in the nets
and this was his first game. So much to try to teach him, there's only so much you can pass on in the nets though. Most of the learning is on the job, and you never stop learning.

He fielded really well as well. He was wearing my old whites, and they were only slightly too big for him, but you would hardly notice.

The skipper was full of praise for him - as well he should be, he scored 6 more runs than he did!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Hahaha!
Good stuff, that'll keep you busy for a few years then mate
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
I hope so, but he's at his mother's every other weekend and he plays a lot of other sports as well
But I'll try to drag him along as much as I can.

So what's new with you? How often you running these days? Is it a full marathon that you're training for?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Did 9 miles this morning as it happens
I'm training for a half marathon this year for sure, and whether or not I end up doing a full one depends on how lucky I am with the ballot for the London 2012 marathon. Ms Foxtrot has put in for it too, but she is fucking dreading being selected!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Well I think we can all guess what's going to happen
Darth - unsuccessful, Mrs Darth - oh shit.

So will she actually go ahead with it if she's successful? Or will you be donning a blonde wig and comedy breasts to take her place for the event?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Hahaha... NO
If we both get in, she'll work fucking hard so we can do it together. If it's just me, I'll give it a go. Just her, and she'll skip the country for the whole of April
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)
That's a disgraceful attitude
If she gets in on her own she should just go for it. Who am I kidding, I'd run a fecking mile. Just one though - another 25 would be ridiculous.

I can't really fathom long distance runners. There's a guy who plays five-a-sides with us who does marathons - he's out running all the time, at the gym etc, obsessed. However, he runs the length of the hall at fives and he's bent over wheezing like Monty first thing in the morning. What's that all about?
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Belting down a hall is a different prospect from running long-distance at your own pace
but nonetheless, if he can run a marathon he should be fitter than that.

I have little interest in long distance running per se, but would quite like to have a marathon under my belt. I'm just doing it to lose weight
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Ah I see
I'd maybe give a 5 or a 10K a shot, but essentially running bores the hell out of me. This is my main problem.

I'd rather play cricket, footie, basketball etc, and occasional trips to the gym.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)
I quite agree, in principle
but the gym costs money and team sports require a team!

The keys to enjoying a run are good tunes, nice scenery and sunshine.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I live in Scotland, so 2 out of 3 of those are off the agenda!

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Nonsense
Scotland has some good bands...

*struggles to think of good Scottish band*

You can listen to non-Scottish bands!
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Idlewild?

(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:23, Reply)
They were alright
A long time ago
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Darth Foxtrot:
Won't be helped.
(, Wed 8 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

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