THIS IS SRZ BZNSS MONTEE
I'll even LINK you to my first two paragraphs so you can see how shit it is
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1282540
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:20, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's clearly not aimed at me, but I don't think that's at all bad.
A bit of minor grammatical tidying and you have something, there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Yours would be
She bent over the table to reach the kettle, her bosoms rubbed lightly against his arm as she asked "Will there be anything else, master?"
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

*boinggggg*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)

'Nigella smiled sweetly.'

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I think I blushed when I read this

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I think it is good!
I like the style of the short sentences
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Only because you can't afford long sentences 'up north'.
When I was young my parents had a sentence that was 500 pages long - we gave it to the butler, in the end. The funny little chap was quite, quite moved when we threw it to him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:26, Reply)

We were so poor
we had to buy words by the syllable.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I bet the "butler" gave it to you often enough
Your barking spider looks more like a geriatric windsock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

+t

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

haha!
"Will there be anything else sir?"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Thank you! I wrote it when I was drunk.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Is it about angry sex?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:26, Reply)

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not there at least
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:31, Reply)

OK.
Whenever I see the words teeth and blood in close proximity....
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:32, Reply)

vampire, etc

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)