I'm intentionamally drunk
I need a shave. Every time I try to grow a beard it looks like tramp pubes (probably, I guess, why would I know anyway?)

Alt: My nose is a pleasing shape I guess, but I suffer from every allergy under the sun and supplement the times I'm not with colds. So my nose causes me incredible discomfort. Well, it's not the fault of the nose directly....aw fuckit, I'll go for my shoulders instead, they're nice and broad and don't get blocked.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 23 Jul 2011, 23:38, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Tramp pubes
I've not seen your beard, or tramp pubes, but I bet your beard looks lovely. I do like a beard on a man.

When you try to grow a beard next, let me know, and I will pop round and rub something into it to help the hair grow thicker. (There is a small chance that this is an attempt at mollesting your underage beard.)
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Sounds good to me
You can't beat a bit of beard-rubbage. What would this 'something' be?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I don't know exactly what.
But I would make sure that it was something nice like brown sauce or coconut oil.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Just as long as it's not crevette.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)

there is a thought though
I could open a beard growth clinic, and rub baldy beardy men with prawns and various sorts of langoustine depending on how much they will pay me.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Tuppence ha'penny
What say ye?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

For two and a half pence.
I will rub used tea bags into your beard, whilst humming the tune to top cat.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)