Monty was thought to be Jack the Ripper
but the police realised he didn't have enough pennies to put on their eyes.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:31, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

and the lack of post-mortem raping

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:35, Reply)

did he rape his victims?
I didn't realise
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:39, Reply)

he didn't
that's how you could tell it wasn't Monty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:41, Reply)

He did not (I did not)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I read that as "post-modern" raping
As though he were wearing a turtle-neck, or something.
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

raping
but with ironic detachment
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

*cries*
It's sinking in that I am going to have to live my life in a completely different way from the way I have been until recently.

Duh, you might (and perfectly reasonably ) say, but the enormity of this is only just getting through to me. I won't be able to, say, visit my mother on a whim etc. I'm fucking shitting myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Can you get a better paid job?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Not really.
Only an idiot would run a home shopping business from London - warehousing and staff cost so, so much less up north, for example. I've already been interviewed (and got nowhere) with most of the other London options.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

can you use the same skills doing something else?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

To be honest I'm in such a bad way with worrying about my money shit etc
that I doubt anyone who met me at the moment would want to give me a job.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

that sucks
you have my sympathy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Come to MK
shit wages, but LOADS of warehouses and cool people and it's only an hour out of london for access to your kid et al.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)

why would he want access to al?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

more importantly
how could his kid manage to eat Al?

that's one greedy fucking kid!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

You!
Did you just add me on fb? Someone added me and I have no idea who it is, but they were a surfer so I thought it might be you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I don't think I did
my profile pic has me playing guitar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)

okay.
Some weird randomer it is, then.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

You'd be able to tell if it were Vipros, as his message would run along the lines of
"Hoi thur, issn' oi be your friend, moi luvver?"
( Kroney, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Ow bist ee?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

oi dun tawk nuffin loik tha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Loyurrr

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 17:07, Reply)

stop bein a baaaaaaaastud!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I'm happy to consider any option.
And from what I've seen MK is OK provided you avoid the pubs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I'll show you the redway system

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

There's an offer, alright.

( Kroney, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I read that as 'otter'
and thought you were having a Bill Oddie moment.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I'll meet him off the bus, point at some red pavement
say "there it is" then go home.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)