I just screwed up
I completely cleaned my kitchen to a degree unknown to human kind, including mopping. Now I can't get to the kettle :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:07, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Have you installed a anti-skank device that means until you clean yourself up, your kitchen won't let you back in?
You SKANKY SPAZ.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:10, Reply)

no
there isn't one of those. Perhaps I need a carer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:11, Reply)

How many wandering fingers do you normally allow up your bumhole during bed baths?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:13, Reply)

is this hypothetical?
or advice?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:14, Reply)

It's one of the few perks of being a carer.
So next time you come across one of those over attentive sons who says that he'll be his mums main carer in dotage, you'll know what a sick cunt he is.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:19, Reply)

this has actually made my jaw drop
well done
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:20, Reply)

I should really get on with some work here.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:27, Reply)

me too
and then i have a 7 mile walk home.

yet somehow i am on here. posting. this.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:28, Reply)

DOMESTIC FAILURE

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:13, Reply)

yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:14, Reply)

My general solution to this problem would be "fuck it and go to the pub".

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:19, Reply)

the front door is the other side of the wet floor
I shall just have to wait
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:20, Reply)

Go out the back door.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:27, Reply)

Which leads to a yard
and then an incredible steep slope covered in 5ft high Japanese knot weed
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:31, Reply)

You've painted yourself into a corner.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:37, Reply)

If Cavey can't get to the kettle, I doubt she'll be able to fuck it.
She might be better off having a wank and thinking about the kettle. And then going to the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:21, Reply)

"it" being the kettle?
she can't. the floor is too wet.

can't you READ?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Can't YOU read?!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:22, Reply)

i can read this ^
so feck orf you sarky lanky streak of west cuntree piss.

AND you misspelt "cavey". so now it's you who cannot read...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:24, Reply)

I CAN'T READ YOU HORRIBLE BULLY

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:27, Reply)

then how did you know what i said?
what arcane magic is this??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:27, Reply)

Oh god. You're still doing it, aren't you?
I can't even read and you're writing awful things about me not being able to read what you're writing about my inability to read.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:30, Reply)

soooo
i am writing about you not being able to read what i am writing about you not being able to read what i am writing about you not being able to read what i am writing? about you not being able to read.

in a nutshell.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:41, Reply)

I'm allergic to nuts
you fucking monster.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)

I suggest fluffy slippers
for some grip. How did the bleaching of the cups go?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:26, Reply)

this sounds very rude indeed
i am surprised at you
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:28, Reply)

everyone is ruder than me this evening
what is going on?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:29, Reply)

Pfft I never say anything rude*
*definitely contains lies
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:32, Reply)

totally worked
now 3 out of 4 are sparkly. The other one I needed for tea
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:29, Reply)