There's only one solution to this problem. Well, three, but you won't like the second two.
1) Next time you see them, shoot the dog in front of them. This will accomplish several things. It will remove the dog from the equation, show your in-laws who's queen bitch and you'll get to scream "Ah'd do anyfink fer mah KIDZ" in their faces.

2) Next time you go over there, shoot the child. This will accomplish several things. It'll prove that you're queen bitch, it'll make them guilty that they didn't acquiesce to your definitely-not-over-protective-first-time-mother syndrome and it'll remove the question over what gets prominence when you're over there. It'll also help remove some of the burden of over-population that this world faces due to selfish First World breeders such as you.

3) Or do something sensible, like not going over, inviting them over to yours or otherwise act like a sensible functioning adult.

Please note, I don't give a shit which one of these you do so long as you stop bleating about it on here. We're not mumsnet.

Regards,

Kroney.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:15, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When she shoots the dog she should hold up her passport and then laugh and say "Diplomatic Immunity"

This is funny because she's South African.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

she could feed the dog to the wood chipper
and when asked where it is she could say "Around!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Oh
Well in which case, wouldn't it just be easier to dog-jack them? They're well into their x-jacking over there.

Stupid prawn
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Never turn your back on the prawn. You cannot trust the prawn.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Sign the document, mate

( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Dear Kroney,
As per option 2, I would just like to mention how my mate lunged at my dog and shouted "YOU NEED TO RESPECT THE BABY", I suggest NOT doing this, as it will cause dog to be severly frightened and perhaps want to eat your face.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Dear Kristine.
Your friend had the correct idea, but failed to break the dog's neck in the process. This was the only sensible solution to a difficult problem and I do hop you will bear this in mind in future.

Sincerely yours,

Kroney.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)

it might alternatively teach it that this is a good way to get attention
i know you're not meant to shout if budgies/parrots bite you, for example, as there is a chance the bird will enjoy the noise, will get excited, and will bite again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)