Not even.
I am a curious physical specimen, dear old Monty. Hairy back, short but bulky and immensely powerful legs, slender neck, delicate facial features... Cellophane just isn't thick enough for persons of sensibility.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:13, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You sound like a bad photofit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:14, Reply)

That's about
the tall and short of it, hyuck, hyuck!

Edit: There was a time when I could pass as attractive perhaps. Now I fear I belong in the bell-tower of Notre-Dame.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:15, Reply)

They may be immensely powerful
but they're oddly proportioned.

Edit: you sound like you belong on the island of Doctor Moreau
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Well quite.
Best imagery I can conjur is half shire-horse, half-swan. Daren't post a picture. The boss watcheth over me...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Does your wife have a musky anus?
EDIT: *remembers*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Well, she might do.
Personally I think all rings are blessed with their own unique tang but the balance of opinion on these boards suggests that my wife has a swampy crack. I really don't know. Being a monogamous sort I haven't been near another anus with my nostrils flared for more than a decade. Perhaps times have changed.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Your turn of phrase is simply marvellous.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)

You're far too kind,
as Jay-Z once said. I had the benefit of an expensive education. Utterly wasted of course. At the risk of turning this into a mutual appreciation and nuzzling session, you too have been gifted with the gab.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)