Can I just leave this here, I wrote it the other night but not many people were around to read it, it's my tribute to BGB and Wet Ham Man. RIP my nizzle.
They met in a basement car park
BGB had just finished having a wee in the corner next to a dark blue Vectra Estate when Wet Ham Man opened the door from teh pedestrian entrance and saw her, teetering on her tip toes as she shook herself to get rid of the last few drops without catching them on her purple knickers.

She caught he eye and smiled and chuckled, it sounded like the rumble from a partially blocked sink.
"Ere, luv" She shouted "you aven't got a tissue you, av' yer?"

"Errr, no" he said, looking to one side and fidgetting with his car keys in his pocket.

"Daaarn't worry about it luv!" She guffawed
and gave herself a quick wipe off with her left hand, before smearing it across the Vectra's windscreen, leaving a greast residue behind.

"Errrm, actually, that's my car" Said Wet Ham Man.

She grinned eve wider, displaying the remains of the doner kebab she'd just eaten
fragments of grey meat stuck to her front teeth, with bits of onion stuck to the side of her mouth.

"Looks like I'd better 'make it up to you' then, doesn't it?" She said with a sly wink.

Wet Ham Man shifted nervously from one leg to the other.

"Um, well, you know, there is something I've been wondering about you since I saw you" He said, his voice cracked and stuttered
as though he was working himself up for what was going to come next.

"Go on luv, I'm pretty unshockable" said BGB.

"It's just ... well, you see ..."

"Spit it out luv! Just so you know though, I don't"

"Okay, well, thing is, I've always wanted to push some wet ham up a ladies back passage, and then have her squeeze it out over my face while I wank myself off, then, just as I'm about to come, she sits down and mashes it into my nose and mouth"

BGB's eyes widened in surprise.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:05, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

I love you Al.

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I love you too sweety, I'm already looking forward to next years Todmorden bash.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I'm so glad I made the effort to make a ham sandwich for lunch this morning
Thanks al
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? I MUST KNOW!!
I can't keep this bone-on up indefinitely, you know. Not at my time of life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I leave the ending ambiguous
so there is the chance of a sequel.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

*fwaps*
( broadsword w⚓, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:42, Reply)