I live in a Victorian flat with my wife.
really unsurprisingly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:28, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

a Victorian flat an illegal gypsy camp in Basildon

wife hordes of unwashed uneducated tax dodging drive tarmaccing bare knuckle fighting cohorts
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:30, Reply)

7/10 for efford and imagination.
The closest I've got to Basildon was 6 months living in Brentwood, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I've driven through Basildon.
True story.
( Kroney, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I fucking live there.
Well, close enough that I have to shop there anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Quixote lives in New Cross and I look up to him.
He is upper class.
scarpe lives in Basildon and I look down on him.
He is working class.
I live in Lewisham.
I am middle class.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I live in Guildford
What am I?
( Kroney, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)

A chutney ferret.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Hah

( Kroney, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

A cunt?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Pah
I'm a fucking yokel, living it up on my country estate. I just have to spend more time than is healthy for anyone actually visiting the town centre doing my shopping at weekends.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I don't know what's worse
Basildon and it's benefits theives or Brentwood and it's oxygen thieves.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I used to be genuniely entertained
by the local slags fighting in the high street of a friday and saturday night. Nothing like the dull thwack of fake Louis Vitton on fake tan.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Back in my day it was all salt of the earth types
and 'Sugar so called Hut' was The White Hart and had pool tables and football on the telly instead of Jodie Marsh and £15 bottles of Sol.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I have fond memories of Bas Vegas.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Oh God, that place.
I go to the cinema there still. Which is why I rarely go to evening showings of films any more.

Shameful Confession: I've been to a wedding at that Holiday Inn there.

And used to work in the pub that serviced the golf course that the car park is now built over.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I have had pissed up nights in both the Holiday Inn (a wedding)
and that golf club (a birthday party).
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Pipps Hill Country Club
as it was called with rather false grandeur. I learnt to swim in their kidney shaped swimming pool and spent way too much money playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out and eating Scampi Fries in there when I was a kid.

Although in later years I actually worked in The Golfer's Arms next door selling beer to the man who ran the jet-skis who I am fairly sure shouldn't have been drinking beer while running the jet-skis.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I fingered Denise Van Outen in the car park.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Who hasn't?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Although she doesn't like it when you call it her car park.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

car park, car park, car park, car park.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Yes,
I noticed her car park echoes too.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

a Victorian flat an illegal gypsy camp in Basildon

wife hordes of unwashed uneducated tax dodging drive tarmaccing bare knuckle fighting cohorts
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Has it all kicked off at your camp?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

They won't take me alive, I tell you.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

How much for that there tranny van bruvva?
I'll cut the back of and use it for me scrap.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)