I can't think of a single one
but whenever I hear Sean Bean's retarded voice advertising O2 it makes me want to throw poo at my television. Specifically, my own.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 10:51, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Christ, you're really a chimp?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I know I'm pretty important but calling me Christ is going a bit far.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

What should we call you then?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

A gay jews worst nightmare
Hold on a second, that's what Christ was!
Monty is Jesus!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

OK you got me. I am actually Jesus.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

You know how films in the 60s made the year 2000 all futureistic, like we're all wearing tin foil and in hover cars and shit like that.
Well, I reckon, when they invented the bible, they did that, but instead of going far into the future where it will happen, they made it in the past where nobody is around to say any differently, except they didn't go far enough into the past, only like 3 or 4 generations.

If they talked about a 'son of god' caveman or egyption or something like that, something a good few 1000s years in the past, then it would have been better.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

The whole Jesus thing goes right back to ancient Egyptian religion anyhow, so that's already happened.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Pretty much all lifted from Mithras
who was himself a copy of... I want to say Horus but I don't think that's right.

Edit: Osiris, I was close.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)