You're Bert and I know you have serious issues.
The autistic one-joke fixation, the absence of wit...

All we need now is the backpedalling, the meltdown and the banning and the wheel of life will have turned again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh fuck, is it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

*ponders*
You may just be right here Boyce
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Start making references to sister fucking, see if it bites back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Holy crap!
The real Bert? The sister-shagging general weirdo?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

If it's not, he has a brother.
We know he has a sister...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Yes, but I read into the backstory last night via Amorous Badger's fail archive.
Holy fucking Christ.

And Amorous Badger really needs to get a life.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

That's how I pieced it together
I drifted away from here for a while, and when I left Bert was just a harmless, irritating internet weirdo. When I got back he'd morphed into this Candyman thing that people spoke of in terrified tones.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I read the whole thing last night... and I did a little sick.
Holy fuck. You'd think the man came from Weston-super-mare.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

you need help

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)