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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That thread is shit.
What's for lunch?

Also, migraines someone I work with has just gone home with one, I've never had one they seem pretty easy to fake to me. Who's had one? Are they really that bad?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 12:59, 221 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I had a few when I was young.
Horribly painful and can often make you feel like throwing up.

I had M&S pasta with feta and s/dried tomatoes.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)
I do love a bit of feta.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:03, Reply)
I was on a feta kick last week
Some home grown tomato, feta, red pepper and chilli salads
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)
Speaking of Feta, Greek debt hit a new record high of 25% in trading today
A default seems certain. It leaves the whole Eurozone in a precarious position.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:24, Reply)
I blame all that plate smashing.
Can't be cheap to keep replacing your crockery.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)
The markets will look beyond this one dimensional assessment and will centre on the Greeks inability to control their vastly inflated public sector, and poor tax returns due to their black economy.
Their national characteristic of being lazy workshy cunts hasn't helped the situation.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)
All I know is they never finish the top of their house so they don't have to pay tax on it.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)
By 'top', do you mean 'roof'?
A house without a roof is not a good long-term accomodation solution.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:47, Reply)
Top floor.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)
So they would build, for example, a 2 story house with a roof
and not do anything with the upstairs - like put in windows etc?

Crazy Greek bastards.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)
No roof. Just the floor of the top floor as the roof of the bottom floor.
Edit - Just did a google and was told this was a myth.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)
OIC
Still crazy Greek bastards.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)
They also hide their swimming pools under fake grass
as they are taxed
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Soup again.
Not risking anything else after yesterday. Though I'm trying to think of a way to add healthy calories.

I've had migraines once or twice usually in reaction to other things. They are quite blindingly painful and you really do need a dark room.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)
Add healthy things to the soup.
Protein like prawns of some chicken. Or maybe brown rice or pasta.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)
Mm chicken
though that involves going near a hot oven haha.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Or more veggies or chickpeas to the soup.
This will bulk it our more.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
What do you mean by healthy calories? A calorie is just a measurement of energy.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:08, Reply)
I'm aware of that
I meant that I'm finding it difficult to get beyond 400 calories a day now that I've cut out all junk foods and most carbohydrates.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Fucking hell
My breakfast is probably that!
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
Are you allowed eggs? Nomlette

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)
Allergic to them
and fish/ seafood.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
There's always steak? Low carb and depending on the cut fairly low in fat.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Also, fucking NOM.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Also, fucking NOM.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Both of them

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)
I thought that.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)
CAYKE and BLACK PUDDING
/oldmeme
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Black pudding's black today mother.
Even the white bits are black.

^Ripping Yarns^
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
I've never had one either.
And I've never had 'flu. And although I know that they both exist and are debilitating for a while, I am normally slow to believe people who say they have either. I am convinced 95% of the time they just have a headache or a heavy cold.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)
I don't think people realize what proper flu is like till you've had it.
Bloody horrible.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Exactly.
I tell people I've never had 'flu and if they say "oh, of course you have" and I just think "No, of course YOU haven't"
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
I had it once years ago
Since that, I have my flu jab if I think I might get it again. I'm in a risk group, so it's offered to me.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
People who come to work saying they have flu are liars
If you have proper flu (had it once) you cannot get out of bed to get to work, sweat half your own body weight while shivering, snot and cough everywhere (if my case knacking my lungs so bad I coughed up blood) and basically feel like you have been run over.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:10, Reply)
This
is true
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
i've never had it
but both my parents had, they reckoned at least 6 weeks and both got seriously annoyed when people said "it's a touch of flu". no such thing. it's a fucking COLD!
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
I had real flu once.
best hallucinations I've ever had apart from DMT. My mother was really scared.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
Vegi chili, chips, peas, sweetcorn and broccoli.
Next to sweet potatoes, broccoli is my favourite veg, although traditionally, people are meant to loathe it. As is the case with brussel sprouts, these are win also.

Never had a migraine thankfully.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Grilled broccoli, tossed in olive oil with parmesan and pine nuts, is very tasty.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
brussel sprouts fucking ming

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
Not necessarily.
Blanched and then stir fried in the pan juices from a beef joint they can be delicious.


EDIT irrelevant to you, but true nonetheless
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:16, Reply)
I like them in a roast.
And a good wedge of garlic.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Mine was from the canteen, they're not that advanced.
Although the chili wrap was ace.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
Broccoli is wonderful.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)
French stick sandwich with chicken, bacon and mozzarella cheese

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)
Nothing for another entire hour as my cunting staff have gone out and I was busy and missed my window to nip out.
I was at my desk at 7am and I really am fucking hungry now.

Hungry, grumpy and generally arsey.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)
I had a fry up, it was good.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)
I'm tempted to have one too.
Just to calm me down. I am really pissed off today - my entire staff and all my customers are cretins.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I think it's the mug of scalding builders tea that does it.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
You nip out of the window for lunch?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
Hahaha!
I was going to write that but thought better of it.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Yes, yes I do.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)
Like the Dukes of Hazzard?
And when you say you 'missed' your window, do you mean that it is only open for a short time each day, or do you mean that you launched yourself at the window and hit the wall instead?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
Both.
It's open between 12:45 and 1pm, but this is barely relevant as I missed it by 9 inches and exploded my testes on the corner of the photocopier anyway.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)
My aunty had to be told what 'scrotum' meant the other day.
My uncle (her brother) said "You know, your corduroy bit. Kop-e-Kat cords, haha.""
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)
I do not understand a word of that, sorry.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
You
know
your
corduroy
bit

Which of those words?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
What? Corduroy? Are you insane?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:48, Reply)
I'm not.
He is.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)
'Kop-e-Kat cords haha'


I couldn't agree more - I'm in fits.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)
It really is another language up there isn't it.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
I just heard "while you're on the phone to me right now how painful are your testicles"
did you just ring in to us?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)
Yes.
Can you tell her 'very', please?

Thanks
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
It makes perfect sense. The balliffs are waiting for him at the front door.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
Haha

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)
RUN MONTY, RUN!

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)
At the likely risk of upsetting any migraine sufferers on here...
In my experience the person you know who suffers from migraines is already the person with the poor attendance record. It seems to be just part of the canon of undisprovable* reasons why they have to leave work early today.

/neverhadamigraine


*cleverer people insert a real word here
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:15, Reply)
'pissflaps'?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Le mot juste

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
It's the same with period pains.
There have been times in the past when I have been curled up in a ball crying wiht the pain but tell someone you suffer with bad period pains and they look at you like you're a lazy fuckwit. I now tell people I suffer with dysmenorrhea which basically means the same thing.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Up the game to menorrhagia, they'll love you for it.
I spent a couple of years involved in developing therapies for those two as well as endometriosis. Always led to awkward silences in pub conversations, I found.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)
...and on the internet too, it seems.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)
I set them up...

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)
I've got a blocked nose and a bit of a scratchy throat.
Probably just a touch of 'flu. I'll be fine by tomorrow.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)
One of my warehouse staff had flu yesterday.
Luckily it was that one-day flu you get on Mondays, so he's OK now.

THE LYING FUCKING 'INNIT BLUD' PEASANT CUNT.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Monday Flu =
MDs on Friday and Saturday, all day pub on Sunday.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)
I suffer from this debilitating condition myself.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)
* Offers Mogadon and Aspirin *

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)
*accepts with gratitude*

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
... and a large XO too, I'll be bound.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)
But of course.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)
A nice, spicy meat flavoured drink.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Nommy Bovril.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Someone's umbrella was just blown out of their hands outside my office
this has attracted no fewer than 8 Micheal Macintyre enjoying - reality TV show voting - one gene short of a blobfish - cretins to the window.

Today is shit
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)
It really is.
Bet they can spell 'Michael' though.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
it's a stupid name anyway

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)
Does the mixture of vowels and consonants cause you some distress?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)
People who can't spell 'Michael' need to have their testicles flatted by a steamroller.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)
Sorry 'Micheal' I'll try harder next time

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)
My name is similar and I still spell it wrong.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Zebediah

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Nice guess
...but wrong.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)
You'll always be 'Wanker' to us here.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Oh Rory
You're such a card.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)
Not the joker or Queen of hearts though.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I was thinking more of those ones that say something like
'Sorry, I appear to have contracted Chlamydia, I'd get myself down to the doc and get myself checked out, if I were you.'
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)
I think you mistyped.
you said 'card'.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Of course you are correct.
I meant 'helmet'.

Apols.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Too right, an Imperial Gallic G if you must know

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

G Ph
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)
Shorten it to Mike.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:38, Reply)
Surname Hunt

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:42, Reply)
or Cox

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)
Boring veggie pasta.
Migraines: My boss gets them from time to time, which is a relief for the rest of us, well it is when she goes home, when she soldiers on it's grim.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)
Secretly replace all the lights in your office with 100 watt bulbs
that should finish her off
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)
Tempting
but we have these stupid mini tubeythings
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Smarties?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Migraines- evil things that run in my family.
We get the whole gamut of symptoms including the vomiting, light sensitivity, feeling like your head is going to implode and explode at the same time, and the pain. Lots of pain. Did I mention the pain?

Oh, and lunch was a healthy BLT.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)
Last time I had a proper migraine (8+ years ago) I managed to spot it for what it was and get home in time.
I used to get a few as a kid before my funny eyesight (both eyes a bit broken, but left eye twice as bad as right) was picked up. Nasty, they were - didn't always end up with vomiting, but in the few cases it did, I learned pretty quickly to chew stuff better. Ick. Sorry, lunchers.

With the proper one, the whole left side of my visual field turned to fog, followed by a few hours of pounding headache, though the co-codamol took the edge off it.

It was preceded by about half an hour of quite otherwordly lightheadedness (no pain at all) plus a few visual shimmers here and there. Very, very odd ...
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:41, Reply)
I think you're possessed.
You want to get yourself down one of those nig-nog churches quick-smart, get the old demons beaten out of you asap.

That's my advice.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Bit of a sing-song
and some laying of hands. That's what he needs, Monts.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Don't we all.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I'm afraid it's AIDS
SOZ LOL
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)
'Sorry to be the carrier etc'

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)
Get well soon then, eh?
I wondered where I'd picked that up from.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
I brought in something from home, but was required for a job at lunch
And as I was so helpful, I was bought a McDonalds. I wasn't complaining, although I was quite looking forward to my lunch...

Alt: I've never had one, but I know they're meant to be near unbearable.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)
Christ almighty
What would you have got if you were unhelpful? An AIDS sandwich and electrodes on your bollocks?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Lots of people seem to be under the impression that IT staff
aren't entitled to lunch breaks.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)
if they did a good job then they would be allowed out
under supervision of course and with factor 50 sun block on
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)
This^
Two fucking hours on the phone was my lunchtime
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Yeah it's like that here at the moment.
We're desperately short-staffed and support over a thousand people. Not fun.

I hate it when these cunts walk up to your desk then, see you eating your sandwich and then say something along the lines of

"I'm sorry, I know you're on your lunch break, but it's really important. The printer's broken/I can't make the font in Word italic/can't make these numbers in Excel add up/something else that can blatantly wait for half an hour".
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
"My server is running at 100MB rather than 1GB" for me today!

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)
"Is there anything wrong with the internet?"

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
Not enough kittens

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I've brought one of them on myself
Everytime anyone changed the toners in our colour printer, they break it. It's got to a point now where I tell them to not touch it, and simply get me. More than once, this has corresponded with my lunch hour.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)
The number of times I've been called back from lunch is fucking ridiculous.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
What is this mythical "lunch" of which you speak?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Supposedly, a legal requirement.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
pfffft

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)
you're desperately unfunny, and I suspect that you have serious issues

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Another TRUTH attack!

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)
PA-CHOW!
Seriously, I just saw his response to me in the thread below, that's scary stuff
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Monty's great, you should be friends.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
he's terrifying

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
To look at, maybe

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
He's not at all, he's just like a shouty drunk sat at the end of the bar.
Buy him a pint and he'll tell you his stories from the war.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
+Napoleonic

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
I think he needs a hug

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
Most autisms on here shy away from physical contact.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
at least it's not fucking poor puns.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)
excuse me for trying to mix things up a little

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
Mixing stuff up by doing the same thing for days and days and days
over and over and over is not actually mixing it up.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)
you are excused
don't try it again, though, eh? If you upset the status quo here we just end up with a lot of rocking back and forth, clutching knees and weeping in darkened rooms and it takes ages to deal with.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
"Got to leave the table"

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
Whatever you want.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)
You wouldn't want to update the status quo.
They'd strap you to a chair and force you to listen to their back catalog on repeat.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Good point.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
but hasn't it been a bit quiet here lately?
can't we do something to inject some life into the place?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I think humour would work better.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
I hope someone will inject some soon then

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
A thread is only as good as you make it.
Waiting for everyone else to be amusing doesn't work.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
You should inject some air into your veins.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
spiteful, uncalled for
downright deranged
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
See if you can fit a pencil behind your eyeball

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)
Should be a bodkin for proper Newtonlols.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)
as kroney points out
one pun thread might have been funny. Constantly crowbarring the same weak concept in everywhere isn't. At all. "being an irritating shit" is not the same as "injecting life"
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
I started it as a joke
it was amusing between me and one or two other people, the fact that so many people got so disproportinately upset was just insane
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)
That's what made me keep going.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
No shit...
i don't think anyone was that upset were they, it was irritating, but not worth getting het up about
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)
You were one of the most upset.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)
bullshit, i even said a couple were funny

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I'M NOT UPSET

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
I'm glad you can see it my way

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)
well, no, it's not at all. Not in the slightest.
Say you had a private one-line joke that was funny between the two of you? Right, well, say you went into a crowded bar full of people you vaguely knew, and barged into every conversation shouting that one-line over and over again? How long do you think you'd last before someone twatted you and got a round of applause?

Becuase, basically, that's what you've been doing.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)
Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!
etc
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)
Taking that bar metaphore further
It's more like 3 or 4 people making jokes on one side of the bar while another 3 or 4 people kept coming over and saying FUCKING SHUT UP THIS BAR IS FOR ALL OF US STOP MAKING JOKES. The idea that the majority of people were against it is just false there were about 4 or 5 people who moaned and about 4 or 5 people who were making puns.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)
For the record
silence isn't the same as enjoying it, it was irritating as hell, but I didn't see any point in getting internet serious about it.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
It's also not a mark of annoyance
you can't assume anyone not involed did or did not like it. Or lets face it even care.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)
True enough I suppose.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)
see below.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)
you've interpreted that in a very unusual way
I haven't barged in anywhere, it's very easy not to read what somebody posts or to ignore a sub thread and carry on about your conversation. I haven't imposed myself on anyone.

The fact that we're even having this discussion is weird. If I had been shouting over people or deliberately stopping conversations then fair enough, but that's not what this is at all.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)
*sigh*
no, I've interpreted it in the way any normal human being would. Of course it is shouting over stuff and of course it fucks conversations up because people go away until the stupid puns stop. Did you not notice that?

I'm not the arbitrator of what is and isn't reasonable here. But shit like that just turns this place into a Tesco Value /talk and people will leave until all that's left are the autisms and the beakers and the odd decent person trying desperatly to actually have a conversation. Knock yourself out, chap. do your worst
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)
I disagree

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)
Dude, it's the internet. Chill.
If TF is Bert, or grates, put them on ignore.

That's what it's for.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)
I'm perfectly chilled
I'm just trying to explain how being human beings work as apparently ttf thinks it works somewhat differently.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)
I think people choose how to interpret posts on the internet
the fact that you interpret it as someone shouting over your conversation and barging in says more about you than it does me
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)
I'm afraid that it really doesn't
however, the fact that you think it's "my" conversation when I said nothing of the sort is probably an interesting insight into your psyche.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)
it was a generic 'your', meaning everyone here as a whole
I can't believe I've been sucked into this conversation, I feel like I'm being trolled
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)
This just reads as "YOU'RE RUINING THE INTERNET"
which is fucking stupid and this conversation weeks after it happened is far more boring than any pun thread, and more people will be put off by this shit than "houmous the tank engine"
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)
You are probably right.
But that doesn't change the truth in what I'm saying.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:53, Reply)
You're Bert and I know you have serious issues.
The autistic one-joke fixation, the absence of wit...

All we need now is the backpedalling, the meltdown and the banning and the wheel of life will have turned again.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)
Oh fuck, is it?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)
*ponders*
You may just be right here Boyce
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Start making references to sister fucking, see if it bites back

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
Holy crap!
The real Bert? The sister-shagging general weirdo?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
If it's not, he has a brother.
We know he has a sister...
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
Yes, but I read into the backstory last night via Amorous Badger's fail archive.
Holy fucking Christ.

And Amorous Badger really needs to get a life.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)
That's how I pieced it together
I drifted away from here for a while, and when I left Bert was just a harmless, irritating internet weirdo. When I got back he'd morphed into this Candyman thing that people spoke of in terrified tones.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)
I read the whole thing last night... and I did a little sick.
Holy fuck. You'd think the man came from Weston-super-mare.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
you need help

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)
A disciplinary, probably.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)
I would struggle to regard anything from McDonalds as a reward.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)
How about a blow job from the Hamburgler?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Ham Turd
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)
I shall reconsider my earlier point.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)
Never had one, but I think I might have one by the end of this evening
Got to meet people coming to look round a soon-to-be-vacated room in my flat.

Not to pre-judge these people before they show up, but what sort of person lists among their interests "the gym" and "going out"?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)
A fit extrovert?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)
You called?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Well, possibly
It's just I'd expect most applicants to have a rudimentary social life, so adding "going out" seems like an attempt to pad that bit out. And as for "the gym"....well, I can't help but think that someone who sees that as a hobby is at risk of being incredibly tedious to talk to.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
I concurr.
Still, they might be nice.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Chances are they'll be perfectly likeable.
As I say, I shouldn't pre-judge them before they show up. Though, even if I did ever go to the gym, I couldn't see myself listing it as an interest...
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)
At least they didn't say 'drums and staying in'

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Haha, they'd be in good company if they had
Last time I moved, I made a point of warning people I played the guitar. Quite a lot.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)
A vainglorious simpleton?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)
You called?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
Oh yes.
They also need to be orange.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
They're probably a bit dim but that doesn't mean they're a bad person.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)
Swipe's boyfriend?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)
No that's 'coming out'

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
You cal...
...oh...you mean the gay fella?
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)
Swipe herself, in fact.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Come on, she's hardly vainglorious.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)
No?
Neither am I, then
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)
So you think she's a simpleton?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Of course!
She'd say much the same about me, I'm sure.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)
If she could string the words together.

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)
No, this one's definitely male
I'm also a bit troubled that my remaining flatmate has reservations about the female applicants. He's worried that they'll be the sort to moan and nag us if we're untidy. I assured him that I'd shared flats with several women over the last few years and had no such problems.

Turns out the only woman he's lived with previously is his mother.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Haha!

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)
I haven't rented since university, do you have to submit a CV these days?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)
Some flat-sharing websites look more like internet dating sites.
Not that I'd know anything about that, of course.

By the way, I put up a new thread.
(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)
What's the question?

(, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:32, Reply)

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