I second Amberl
I wish someone would give me lots of money. Enough to buy a little house and a decent car would be nice, or failing that just a couple of grand to pay off my debts.

I am not in a foul mood but I do wish it would be hometime quicker. Solutions to foul moods include; wanking, drinking, smoking and eating chocolate. If you're particularly talented you can manage at least three out of those four at once.
(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:05, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Be careful not to burn your cock though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

dangerwank.
or, you could smoke left-handed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Or sit on your left hand until you lose all sensation.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

You would burn your arse then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

If you were stupid enough to sit on a lit ciggy.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Since I don't have a cock
and I am sufficiently coordinated not to stick a burning joint up my foof, I think smoking and wanking concurrently does not present all that much danger.
(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

If indeed you don't already have a burning joint in your foof.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:11, Reply)

That'd be some party trick, I grant you.

(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I've seen it done with a cigarette.
Sadly. impressive, yes, erotic, no.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Wank it is then.
Nothing to drink here, no food either and I quit smoking.

Laters.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

....and he's spent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)