so far this morning
i've settled a £500,000 terminal dilapidations claim, drafted Instructions to Counsel to represent my client in court at a hearing in december, served a notice requiring possession to boot out some random tenant, and dictated the trainee's appraisal.

that's a week's work for some shirkers...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:44, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Which translates as:
*Got someone to write a cheque.
*Told someone else what to do.
*Made somebody homeless.
*Slagged someone off on a tape recording.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

hardly!
more translates as: after a couple of months of throwing very technical chapter and verse at him, got the landlord to suck it for his £500,000 claim, drafted a deed of settlement and release, and told my client (who would have given in and paid without my robust stance) to pay the miniscule amount that we did concede.

instructions to counsel takes AGES. nobody who has never had to do it could concede the old-fashioned rigmarole. but it requires an in-depth knowledge of the case and, in this matter, 3 years of docs and correspondence.

not yet, but if they don't fuck off in 2 months' time, i will be making them homeless. but they can just rent somewhere else, they have good jobs.

yes. yes i did. grrrrr.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

you're a formidable woman.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

yes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I've been transcribing an old document we're hoping to sell
It's a mining lease from 1872, all handwritten in that godawful spindly spider writing.

I'm all 'the lessor, his heirs or assigns' and 'the lessees, their executors, admors or assigns'

Jesus, legalise is terminally dull. And very longwinded. And did I mention dull?
And that's coming from ME.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Where did you get that from?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I've no idea. mr b3th brought it home from somewhere. Boot sale, i think.
Turns out it relates to a gold mine in Wales, and the guy who's named as the landlord in the lease was (presumably later) murdered by one of his servants.

The things you find out, eh?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Old documents look cool
I might get one and get it framed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)

lots of pubs
seem to have their original plans or other types of deeds framed and on the wall these days. it can look good.

unless the pub is a 1970's shitehole.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)

i spend an unfair proportion of my life deciphering these things, old buddy old pal
old deeds SMELL. they really honk.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)

This one smells quite nice, actually
It's only a copy draft, probably done by the trainee, and it's on nice blue paper. I am disturbed by a total lack of punctuation, however.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)

that's perfectly normal in legal docs
it's because commas or similar can lead to arguments over interpretation.

eg i have one at the moment where it clearly means: rent payable monthly on the last day of each calendar month. if you fail to pay it the whole quarter falls due with interest being calculated from the relevant quarter date.

the fact that the dumbass who drafted it put commas around the "with interest" means that the other side are now arguing that the whole rent is calculated from the quarter date, not just the interest. this is very important as to who is liable for payment, given what happened between the quarter date and the last date of the month. and the rent at stake is £1,375,000.

if there had been no commas, they could have had no argument...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I'm 22 pages in to a 31 page document
and to be fair, if they weren't making sure they had EVERY eventuality covered, it could have been done in about five.

And the only way I can tell there's a new sentence is the random capitalisation.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)

that's what we do! my colleague charges £415 to cover every eventuality
and then when it goes wrong a different colleague charges £415 to find the one eventuality that wasn't covered...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Hey! I've just learned a new word!
Messuage - I intend to use it more in conversation.

Messuage. It sounds weird.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)