I can't believe I missed this.
My favourite catchphrase was the one with 'fuck me 'til I fart' and 'arsebandit'.

On top of that, the other day I retold the Roy Walkker/ fart chain story.

Foiled again!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:54, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Late to the party, Dozer.
All the best booze has gone, too. I'm afraid it's a half empty bottle of Diamond White that someone's been using as an ash tray for you.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:55, Reply)

Shite.
Did I tell you about the letter I got the other day?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:57, Reply)

No, what did it say?
BTW the above scenario has happened to me, only it was a can of beer that I picked up from the floor thinking it was mine only to find it was the one my brother had been using as a tab receptacle.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:58, Reply)

It was from the Government.
I opened it, read it, it said they were suckers. They wanted me for the army or whatever, picture me giving a damn? I said never!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I hope you told them that because of your catalogue work, you'd not be able to do owt covert, like.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:02, Reply)

Haven't you read Glamorama?
Modelling is the perfect cover.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:05, Reply)

It said THEY were suckers?
Christ, Government in "we admit it, we're shite" shocker.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:02, Reply)

Yah. It did.
Here is a land that never gave a damn
About a brother like me and myself
Because they never did
I wasn't wit' it but just that very minute...
It occured to me
The suckers had authority
Cold sweatin' as I dwell in my cell
How long has it been?
They got me sittin' in the state pen
I gotta get out - but that thought was thought before
I contemplated a plan on the cell floor
I'm not a fugitive on the run
But a brother like me begun - to be another one
Public enemy servin' time - they drew the line y'all
To criticize me some crime - never the less
They could not understand that I'm a Black man
And I could never be a veteran
On the strength, the situation's unreal
I got a raw deal, so I'm goin' for the steel
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:04, Reply)

That Jeremy Hunt, eh?
He's our BEST Minister of Culture
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:07, Reply)

I want Harry Allen as the Minister of Information.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 21:10, Reply)

There's tonnes of twiglets. As usual.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:57, Reply)

Err...not just an ashtray
DON'T DRINK IT! Look, someone was in the bog and I couldn't hold any longer, right.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 1 Nov 2011, 20:58, Reply)