Understandable.
I'm drinking to much too. Not because I have to but because I want to. Stopping it in the new year though. I'm letting myself self destruct a little.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:18, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I can't really get much closer to self-destruct, I feel fucking awful at the moment.
I'm supposed to be at a table with kiddo and 14 friends and their kids tomorrow for dinner, I can neither afford it or face putting on the mask for three hours. I'll do it anyway, it'll feel good afterward I'm sure.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:21, Reply)

You'll be ok.
More often than not, the thought of doing something like that is always worse than actually doing it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)

I keep telling myself that, hoping it'll sink in.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Does kiddo know how you feel about the whole thing?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:27, Reply)

About going out for the dinner?
Yeah I just told her, but I said I know I'll enjoy it and fundamentally that's true. I don't get to show Sophie off very often at all, never in fact, and many of these people haven't seen her since she was a toddler. She'll enjoy herself I'm sure, and that'll be enough for me.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

I'm sure you'll hold it together for her.
And you never know, you might actually enjoy yourself for a few minutes. Having had my fair share of 'black dog days', I know that even that much is quite a victory.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)

I will enjoy myself, I know it.
It's my inner-hermit trying to take over. I'll mtfu eventually.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 18 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)