I've managed to pile on over two stone this year
I've decided I don't fucking care, and will not do so until January, at which point I will descend into a pit of self-loathing. Which will be fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:09, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Lets hope you can't reach the fridge from that pit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Don't worry, I doubt my arms will be able to stretch past my housewhale belly.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:17, Reply)

When Darth's missus burned the turkey last Christmas, Darth said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his back garden..
He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with chestnut stuffing. When she asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Darth Foxtrot.”
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I am fucking loving this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

That's what she said

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Is it true that you once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:23, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
True story
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I heard
the Rampant Rabbit was going to be modelled on Darth's penis, but none of the testers survived the trial runs.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

He has ears on his cock?
Makes a change from lips
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot pierced his own ears by biting them

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot does not dance as such. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
The judges award him the top prize out of simple respect.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot walks barefoot on lego
and the lego cries.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot once filled in for Santa Claus on Christmas.
This was an horrible mistake, as Darth can deliver only two things: justice and pain.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:43, Reply)

That's been misreported
They were actually origami Falcons. MILLENNIUM Falcons.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Full sized ones at that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I aim to put a stone on in December
It is the sign of a good Christmas
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I put on half a stone last xmas
then followed it up this year with almost another two.
I don't handle stress well, and usually end up in the fridge.
/typical fat bird answer
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Much to the annoyance of Mrs Cow
I can easily drop a stone just by not eating crap and drinking. January is booked in for this

p.s.
You ain't fat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Well, you can fuck off.
ps. You ain't seen me recently.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I have seen FB photos
...and no!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I agree with Sporters on this
As we know, Darth Foxtrot is never wrong. He is merely differing levels of right.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:37, Reply)

She a real purty lady

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Darth Foxtrot Walks by pretty girls. The Girls go "Daaaayam!!"

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Dec 2011, 16:45, Reply)