Well, I say 'helped across the road',
really it was more 'pretended to be from the gas board, forced my way into her home and submitted her to a sordid and terrifying nine-hour sado-sexual ordeal, and then fucked off down the pub with her pension leaving her gaffer-taped to a chair in the dark'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:00, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

This is the new Strongbow advert, right?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Devski old boy, are you well?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Top hole, old boy, top hole.
Things are coming up Devil today, which is nice. And but 15 minutes to a turkey dinner.

I trust the season finds you well?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Fair to middling, fair to middling.
Work’s OK, access to kid is OK, having a great time with Lusty…were I not broker than Quentin’s mum’s morals I’d say I was tip-top really. How’s your missus?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Excellent!
She's just fine - we're just counting down the days to the new house. Just over a month to go... Nearly bloody there, though!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Still in East London?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:11, Reply)

ANSWER THE QUESTION.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:15, Reply)

He doesn't care, Monty.
The heartless cad.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:23, Reply)

He's ruined my Christmas now.
I'm going to sit in a bus shelter with a bottle of Gordon's.

Bye all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I'm going now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:34, Reply)

No-one cares.
Suprise! Which bus shelter?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Does it really matter which?
As long as it is rainy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:42, Reply)

and as long as it's not my one.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I think Upper Clapton is the most miserable place in the South of England.
Also if I get really wet with rain or urine I can always get the bus home from there pretty easily.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I used to go out with a girl who lived in Upper Clapton.
What a fucking sorry state it was. And so was Upper Clapton.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:47, Reply)

instantrimshot.com/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

That's the exact sound I made in my head as I typed it.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Can you not count?
HE'S AT DINNER
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I was watching the orginal foreignese Girl With The Dragon Tattoo the other day.
Just as I said, "She must've known that would happen. Why didn't she at least take a camera and film it for evidence?" she retreived the camera from her bag.
Moreover, I liked the bit where she kicked a dildo up his arse. My wife and I turned to each other and said in unison "And that's what should happen to all of them."
So, my point, I guess, is that I love Christmas, me.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I reckon there is people that probably quite like having things kicked up their rears,
and I'm not sure we should be encouraging them to rape people, especially at christmas.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Why not? Everyone loves a Christmas surprise.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:27, Reply)

She did establish beforehand that he wouldn't be keen. Just in case.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Thu 22 Dec 2011, 13:32, Reply)