Kept all mine so far
The trick is to make them incredibly vague. "Lose weight", well yes, not a lot, but there's no specified amount. "Learn a second language", doesn't say when in 2012. Etc.

Alt: MJ, obviously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:02, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So you can receive 10 years of MJ grooming?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:06, Reply)

I think I'm out of his preferred age bracket
Once human cloning ramps up he's got to be first choice, not least because it won't matter if the new version looks like the original
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:07, Reply)

If you cloned Michael Jackson,
Would it be suprised when it came out black?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:09, Reply)

I'd be fucking amazed that I'd successfully done anything involving science, first and foremost
Anyway, it doesn't matter if you're Black or White.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Tell that to Steven Lawrence.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:13, Reply)

What happened to him was very Bad
He should have Beat It

Etc
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:15, Reply)

You really are a 'Ben'-der aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Whereas you're a Smooth Criminal
This was less of a good idea than I'd hoped
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:24, Reply)

Wow, this thread is a real 'Thriller', isn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:33, Reply)

STOP NOW.
Please.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:35, Reply)

I have noticed he hasn't had much new stuff out recently.
A d'Earth of Songs.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I always have "learn to juggle" as a resolution
They dont have to be sensible
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Or useful

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 16:14, Reply)