When I was about 22 I was sharing a flat with two girls
They were both at Uni, and this given night one was back at her folks' down south and the other was on placement (nursing student) so I knew she wasn't coming back. I was idly watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I suddenly noticed that there was a Vampire version of the absurdly hot character Willow seducing the non-Vampire version of the absurdly hot character Willow.

My flatmates were out, and not coming back. And as far as I knew, no-one else had a key to the flat.

Any of you would have done the same - obviously I started cranking one out. And I suppose you all know how this ends.

That's right. I shat myself as I came.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:57, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

...why?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Which part?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:03, Reply)

did you shit yourself?
assuming willow is the redheaded bint I see no issue over knocking one out over her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Of course I didn't shit myself
It just struck me, in a moment of dubious judgement, as more amusing than the actual end to the story, which is that my neighbour walked in and I had to tuck away sharpish.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Never been caught wanking
Been caught 'mid act' with a girl, as it were. Don't know which would be worse...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Wanking is worse.
Unless the girl munts.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I think wanking is still worse.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

What if the girl was workboresme?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Nolongernuts now

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

is she actually hideously unattractive
or just weapons-grade mental?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

No idea
Don't care. That level of mental unpleasantness makes her unattractive, even if she has norks like Right Said Fred sneaking into a boob tube convention
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

The new picture of you on FB is magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

The one in the tails from last night?
I assume that this is advanced internet sarcasm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Very much so.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:26, Reply)

You'll have to take my word for it that I look fooking magnificent in person

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

It's more the pose that's amusing me.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

been caught wanking
the less successful Janes Addiction etc...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I wouldn't put it past Perry Farrell to have a plethora of unused lyrics along those lines

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

did you get your bf to shove it back up?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Don't be silly
Quality fertilizer, that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)