Do you seriously want mature emotional and marital advice from B3ta/

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:34, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

If you're offering
Dear BPtJF,

I am finding it more and more difficult to make love to my wife without picturing livestock. Last night I insisted she moo deeply and make exaggerated chewing actions as I was otherwise unable to sustain my pitiful excuse for an erection. Also as the joints in cows' knees allow them to go upstairs but not down, it's only a matter of time before I'm caught in the act of shoving a particularly obstinate Jersey out of the window. How can I save my marriage and get the RSPCA off my back?

Yours hopefully,

Al Anon. of Newcastle
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)

^ An early attempt at POTD here and a good attempt at that ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Internet validation!
*reads JMG's "How to be a hero of b3ta"*

Repeat... ad... nauseum...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:42, Reply)

+ te
+ sexual
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

That made me Mondaylaugh.
Needed a bit more scat though.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

*writes down*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Yes please

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Mon 16 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)