Dee Eeyut in the big sportscow house
"Aah divvent knaa what w'problem is, pet", sighed sportscow as he opened another bottle of red. "If theey durn't want t'see w'bairns, aal jus keep 'em heeya an' theey c'n jus' shite, man"
Mrs Cow looked at her husband with fear in her eyes, his drinking was getting further and further out of control and she didn't understand why he was getting so angry - all her mother-in-law had suggested was that it would be nice if the bairns could help her scratch the silver bits off her scratchcards for her, as her hands were getting too arthritic to grip the coin properly now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:17, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

hahahaha!
Brilliant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Though I actually did have to decode it to read

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)

What do you mean?
It was in your language.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)

That is clearly Geordie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)

It's like Spanish and Portuguese though, isn't it?
There may be differences, but you can understand one another.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Sort of

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

see? not so tough now was it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:20, Reply)

I feel emotionally drained now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:22, Reply)

he managed to control his shaking hands by gripping the arms of the chair.
what was going on now? a rare moment of absolute lucidity gripped him like a downs giving a wank. all the people were speaking strangely, he couldn't understand a word! a trickle of ice cold fear slithered down his back as the people around the table traded mangled words back and forth. had he finally lost his mind? was his wife right, was he working too hard? then it hit him, he was in poland, they were speaking their native tongue. battered smiled and relaxed, his legs shaking only slightly as he counted down the moments until lunch, and the bottle of scotch awaiting him.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)

I dont like Scotch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

smashing. that story was about battered.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:26, Reply)

But I dont like Scotch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Thanks. xx

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)