MMPS crawled out of his deep-fried hovel,
the stench of a mixture of Buckie and what he referred to as ‘pish’ (NB this is what people in England with the luxury of teeth refer to as ‘piss’) burning his bulbous, red, veiny nose like napalm. He idly picked at his distended, diseased anus through his Kappa kilt and his pleurisy-ridden lungs rattled like a half-empty box of Highland Toffees.

'Och aye the noo' he bellowed in his unintelligble 'brogue'. His wife, Gudrun Ure, made a futile attempt to shoo away the flies which gathered like ill-omened stormclouds around their munchy box dinner.

ET CETERA
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:23, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

i clicked
mmps is just jealous, sweetie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

I can churn this shit out standing on 'ma fucken heid'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:27, Reply)

at least he fucking made an effort.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:29, Reply)

hey
just because i can't translate what i said doesn't mean i didn't sweat blood to produce it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:41, Reply)

fucking hell, stick a cunt rat in then!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:48, Reply)

the filming wasn't until 3 but he wnted to look his best for "Jeremy Kyle", so he shuffled off to matalan to get himself a five finger discount on a new trackie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 15 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)