A kitten once licked my thumb and made me feel all tingly
Mind you, I was 11 so carved table legs, an art deco building or just breathing had the same effect.

Changing the subject, my company end of year do is Black Tie. Not being overly tall, stunningly gorgeous or a psychopath I don't own a dinner suit. Should I rent one, buy a cheap one or invest in a bespoke >£500 masterpiece?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:38, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

are you going to wear it again?
you can pick up a just about OK one for about £100, or check out charity shops. probably at least £50 to rent one, I'd have thought, so might be worth buying one if you think you'll get one more use out of it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)

That's the crux of it
There'll probably be more black tie company events. Plus it would come in handy for James Bond fancy dress.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Hire full Highland Dress
The ladies will be frothing at the clopper.

HTH xxx
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)

But what should I wear underneath it?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:44, Reply)

nowt, obviously.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Also, this.
The number of times I've been borderline sexually assaulted by drunken harridans whilst wearing a kilt is quite amusing
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Exactly this.
Our Christmas night out is in Birmingham and me and my mate are the only ones from north or the border.

We're having to pack a shitty stick.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I'm not sure if that reads terribly well.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)

makes sense to me

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)

I thought someone might have misconstrued the 'shitty stick' reference as some post anal issue
that would certainly fend them off.

I may have overthought this.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)

best go and have a cup of tea and a little lie down, I think.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I think you might be right

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Do you wear the funky shoes with the laces that go up the ankle?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:50, Reply)

ghillie brogues? yeah.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Whatever you do
don't get a notched lapel like a business suit, ask for peaked or shawl lapels. Traditionally shawl collars go with cummerbunds and peaked with waistcoats. Try to get a jacket without a vent in the rear.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:46, Reply)

and don't wear a winged collar shirt
you're not a waiter.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Quickest way to spot the cunt that doesn't know what he's doing:
Winged collar, pre-tied bow, notched lapel, non-patent leather shoes.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)

I read a thing about formal wear do's and don'ts
which made the same points. Cheers chaps.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)

www.gq-magazine.co.uk/style/articles/2012-08/30/black-tie-guide-suit-shirt-how-to
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Good guide.
Don't wear braces though, whatever they say. Wear a waistcoat or a cummerbund. Not wearing one is popular at the moment because of Daniel Craig. Your shirt will show between your jacket and trousers and your trouser waist and button etc will show. It looks messy.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Nov 2012, 11:20, Reply)