He had to get up anyway to change his colostomy bag.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:32, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

He got confused and thought he was in the Post Office

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

'Is it pension day dear?'
'Only it's my corns you see, they're playing me up something terrible. Dr Singh says he can fit me in later this morning to sand them down, but I need my pension money to pay for it. He's a lovely bloke that Dr Singh, you know, for one of them.'
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:38, Reply)

Sounds more like my gran

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:39, Reply)

y gran e
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:41, Reply)

You married your grandmother? You sicko. You disgust me with your west country ways.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Well, Monty's mum was already taken.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:42, Reply)

Oh she was 'taken' alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Thanks for that "Liam"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)