Christ on a crutch
(literally)
DONE DEAL - Kevin Phillips - Blackpool to Crystal Palace

How is KP still playing? In the Championship, yet. I mean, he was never the paciest but he's got to be closer to 40 than 30 and that's ancient for a striker.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:46, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Holloway innit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:48, Reply)

Just checked, he's FORTY in July.
Fuck me.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:48, Reply)

Least impressive chat-up line EVER.
'Kevin Phillips is 40 in July... Gissa a shag'

It needs more work Lighty.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:49, Reply)

At the weekend I drunkenly signed up for some speed dating
I shall take your advice onboard - I think the previous advice was more immediately useful than this.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:55, Reply)

i didn't know that still happened
I would have thought match.com and their ilk were your best bet
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:56, Reply)

fuck that I have to talk about myself for pages and pages
this I can give a 30 second synopsis and then say "But I'm keen to learn more about YOU". Bitches love that shit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:59, Reply)

Plus, after 30 seconds, you can claim to have been in a relationship with them.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:03, Reply)

Or more specifically
You 'were' in a relationship with them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:04, Reply)

thats the theme of today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:07, Reply)

Speed dating eh.
How does that work. You do a gram of Billy and make a tit of yourself?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:56, Reply)

No, they do
your way would never work, you idiot, it's the WOMEN who have to be got into a state of diminished responsibility.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:58, Reply)

Take a few pots of Vicks vapor rub with you.
They'll be like putty in your hands.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:02, Reply)

sounds like a plan
I have initiated conversation with TWO strangers this week, I am totally prepared to chat with multiple women in a sexually charged environment.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:15, Reply)

sexually HRT
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:23, Reply)

As long as they're gagging for it and not too fussy

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:24, Reply)

And there will be no risk of you accidentally fathering a kid.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:25, Reply)

Science is a wonderful thing these days
blowies and then mouthwash or GTFO
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:37, Reply)

So when you've gobbled someone off, you like to rinse.
Class.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 22:38, Reply)