So yet another the world may end scenario
metro.co.uk/2013/02/07/nasa-confirms-40m-long-asteroid-wont-hit-earth-but-will-be-closest-miss-ever-3397482/
If we have to go out with a big bang how would you spend your last few hours?

Alt: I have Beer, yep Beer Muthafluckers, what you got?

Alt:alt: If you could who would you bring back from the dead and why?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:17, 153 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Alt:alt: AA’s mum just to stop the bullying

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:19, Reply)

with a big banging
obvs

alt: I have a tired. There is wine, I could drink that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:21, Reply)

I have a tired?
Whats one of them then?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:22, Reply)

I am very very tired
had about 3 hours sleep, a busy day, and none of the drugs which make my metabolism work. I should just sleep
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:24, Reply)

You know whats dead good? Pearl Barley.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:22, Reply)

Is that not them little tins of really strong LARPer?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:25, Reply)

It depends, when you bring them back, are they zombie'd ? If they're normal, do they know whats happened since they died? Will they come back with any kind of knowledge they wouldn't have known when they're alive?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:22, Reply)

there's always a downside when people
are broght back from the dead. Usually it's to do with imbalances in the universe. Also the other dead people get jealous and rip through the veil between worlds and take over living humans. Really sucks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:23, Reply)

Plus is there a time limit?
I truly believe in some kind of after life, I don't know what exactly, I make it up as I go along... it would have great repocutions.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:25, Reply)

This ties in nicely with the main question

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:26, Reply)

Artistic licence is at your disposal
Use it to your pleasure
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:23, Reply)

It would be alright to see Dad again, I could update him on how those olympics went and show him that iPad thinggy, he'd love a bit of that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:28, Reply)

Bless I ent got the heart to be nasty to this comment
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESjlmnY4pGw
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:31, Reply)

If he's gonna be a zombie about it though, I'd wanna change who I pick.
I ain't interested in seeing zombie dad. I'd probably bring back someone like Hendrix. I ain't interested in his music really, but I can apprechate how awesome a concert by zombie hendrix would be, and he'd have to give me box-tickets 'cus I was the one who bought him back to life. If he gets stonned and can't play though, i'd be pissed.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:42, Reply)

You have given this some thought aint you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:44, Reply)

Only a bit.
It's more for Monty's good than anyone else. I'd want a cut of the tickets, I reckon I can charge a grand a piece.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:56, Reply)

zombie lindsay lohan
Braaaaiiiinnnns
cooooooooke
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:46, Reply)

OMG when did she die
and how would we be able to tell the difference
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:48, Reply)

She didnt

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:51, Reply)

Not fair to raise my hopes like that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:52, Reply)

well she could be
Its not like we keep in touch
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:56, Reply)

Alt: a strong desire to punch you in the face.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:22, Reply)

You and your step ladder pee wee

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:24, Reply)

drinking, obv
Alt workaholics on the dvr and almond granola bars

Alt alt ugh its a difficult question, would they come back as the day they died or would it be a disgusting rotten corpse
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:35, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1856678
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:35, Reply)

oh soz
My phone is awful
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:38, Reply)

ignore the fact its immediately above my post

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:39, Reply)

*Pretends not no know what you’re talking about*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:40, Reply)

alright Harters?
It's weird having a cessation of online ironolol hostilities.

CQ has me on 2.0 still, it's ruining my enjoyment of Off Topic.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:36, Reply)

Sorry I will remedy that immediately
NOT ONLY ARE YOU SCOTTISH YOU’RE A CUFFLINKED CLOSET FAGGOT AND NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!
That any better?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:38, Reply)

POTD

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:41, Reply)

Nahhhhhhh this pales in comparison
There have been some caulkers today
I think thats the right word
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:42, Reply)

*corkers
You sub-literate, learning difficulties prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:44, Reply)

What's the people from small counties in Ireland got to do with anything?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:46, Reply)

tey blow tings up to be sure so tey do

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:49, Reply)

A bit like you at the gay clubs then????

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:50, Reply)

hey, that's not fair
I haven't had sex with any guys since 1998 or 1999.

They were hedonistic times, we were all doing Mitsis and cocaine.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:55, Reply)

You really need to get a new calendar

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:58, Reply)

I really don't

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:11, Reply)

Calm down Prince
You can still party like it's 1999
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:13, Reply)

Nominated for it's accuracy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:07, Reply)

for it is accuracy?
You felchnut.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)

iPad innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:33, Reply)

closet?
And Battered wears cufflinks on a regular basis.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:43, Reply)

I thought you would be happy with that, did I miss anything?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:44, Reply)

you forgot 'pygmy cumslut'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:46, Reply)

*Takes notes*
*adds to list*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:47, Reply)

Yes I do wear cufflinks, but unlike you I don't bore everyone with details of the brand or design.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:04, Reply)

you don't wear designer suits either, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:08, Reply)

On occasion. When I don't want to wear one of the bespoke ones I have.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:10, Reply)

Its not like he says anything important

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:44, Reply)

terrible bullying of CQ here

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:45, Reply)

to be fair I dont either

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:48, Reply)

Alt:alt: Jimmy Saville
Just to see his face when he realises he’s been found out.
I can hear his words already “Now then Now then, I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for them MEDDLING kids”
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 18:56, Reply)

...if it wasn't for the meddling WITH kids.
You cunt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)

But you got it
If you got it maybe Nakers will get it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:06, Reply)

alt a headache and an overwhelming sense of misery
alt alt the world needs Jimi Hendrix more than ever. cf Himmler
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:03, Reply)

See Gonz's post up there ^^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)

Yesterday could have gone worse. It's at least another step in the process, distressing though I am sure it was to have to relive all of the previous upset.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:05, Reply)

Yeah, didn’t want to jump on the patting back bandwagon earlier
Just think of it as one more process to get the access you need as a farther.
Or walk through a muddy field to get to the festival you know you’re going to rock off to.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 19:09, Reply)

You needy prick PD
You know you wanted that
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:09, Reply)

This get's better and better

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:46, Reply)

I don't get it, whats happened?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:49, Reply)

MAJOR FLOUNCE
It seems

AND DELETES
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:50, Reply)

Deletion was for reason of decorum.
Not for any flouncy reasons. You seem to have difficulty understanding some very basic concepts. And you should be a bit grateful, deletion means that Gonz here can't see you laughing about a real-life episode of someone dying of a nasty cancer while being beaten by their husband. How old are your kids HH? I was 11 and my brother was 10 when that all reached its peak.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:52, Reply)

Swipey gonna have a field day with you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:55, Reply)

I doubt that.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:56, Reply)

Somebody that call's her fat and ginger might make her aware

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:59, Reply)

Give it a go. No doubt as someone else who lost their mother she'll find it lolarious and you'll be the hero of the hour.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:01, Reply)

I maybe wrong but Swipe likes you don’t she

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:03, Reply)

Give it a go. Share your funny funny joke with her.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:05, Reply)

What's this got to do with Battered's Wife?
This is why I always tell YM jokes "You're Mum", so it's ovbouse I'm not being serious.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:59, Reply)

Not Battered's wife.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:00, Reply)

OH nonononononon, sorry, that wasn't a joke on you, that sounds quite horrific, that sort of thing would haunt me too.
I was just wondering what this had to do with battered's wife 'cus I didn't read it all before it got deleted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:03, Reply)

Nothing to do with it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:04, Reply)

No offence taken.
I knew you weren't joking about.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:05, Reply)

Yes, I can see how you can consider your behaviour heroic and hilarious.
I'm assuming that your wife's at home, have you run this little hilarious episode past her to see what she thinks? I'm not being all high and mighty here, but in some ways, wives are like an extra conscience. If she finds it pant-wettingly funny too then more power to you, I'm pretty sure the only person who's found this at all amusing has been you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:50, Reply)

You know deleting doesn't remove stuff from the popular page right?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:53, Reply)

ALSO WAH WAH WAH

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:53, Reply)

Yes.
I'm not fussed about the popular page.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:55, Reply)

Your mum tit's are

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:56, Reply)

Am I the only one who finds it a bit pathetic who looks at it? AND/OR are too apathetic to look themselves?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:01, Reply)

No.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:01, Reply)

*would be better with the ORIGINAL content*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 21:53, Reply)

JOB DONE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:04, Reply)

Eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:05, Reply)

He thinks he's won or something.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:05, Reply)

Harters
I'm a bit confused here.

Can you tell us what the 'job' was? Was it making you even more unlikeable? You know, there are people on here who I am absolutely certain are good eggs in real life, and nowt like how they are as a poster and ones that are pretty much the same offline as on.

You're firmly in the latter camp, am I right?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:08, Reply)

Stop it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:08, Reply)

I think I want to buy a Ducati.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:08, Reply)

Odd time to have a mid-life crisis?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:09, Reply)

he's nearly 40
Right time, isn't it?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:10, Reply)

Allegedly so
I have driven a Ferrari in an effort to keep mine at bay.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:12, Reply)

How old are you anyway?
I always have you pegged as about 15 years older than me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:12, Reply)

Mid 40s
Good guess
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:13, Reply)

I'm 33, so near enough.
Alright? No attempts at bullying?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:15, Reply)

Not today. Sleep calls.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:18, Reply)

Alright.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:21, Reply)

I had bikes for years, until about 4 years ago.
Just fancy another. I won't get it probably, bit irresponsible to have a sports bike when you're a parent.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:13, Reply)

I love the idea
but the way people drive cars, no way. Lost a couple of biker friends to idiots in cars, plus one who smashed his legs up cos some dickhead u turned in front of him without signalling.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:17, Reply)

I'd mainly use it on a track if I got it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:18, Reply)

Buy one.
Crash it.

Die.

Job done.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:10, Reply)

Unlikely, they break down a lot

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:10, Reply)

Phew!
Imagine a world without Battered!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:11, Reply)

You'd weep desolately.



for about 3 seconds.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 22:15, Reply)

I really want this
www.etsy.com/listing/118625777/meteorite-ring-with-dinosaur-bone-and?ref=trending_item
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 23:22, Reply)