if you must

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:22, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

No one likes hearing the truth.
Especially not in a mother's day card.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Dear Mummy,
Thank you for being such a great mummy, we don't mind that you hit daddy and kicked him out, he's a right cunt anyway,

Love Optimus Prime and Skeletor
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)

And here we have Post Of The Day everybody.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I liked it
If only for Optimus Prime and Skeletor.
They're not even in my top ten favourite kids.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)

Stay about from my kids!

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)

I feel bad that you're having a tough time recently.
But you're being good value on here at the moment.
So... Swings and roundabouts
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)

It seems more than fair that others should get some enjoyment from my misery
I've been enjoying you lots agony for years.
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Hang about
She hit you? I know she's only a slip of a thing and you're a MACHO MACHO MAN but all the same. That's bang out of order.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)

It does say that he's a right cunt and probably deserved it and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Hang on, Al's our resident cunt
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that's why Monty's ex didn't get prosecuted.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Yeh, thankfully shes not very strong
I bought it up in the counselling and she seems to only recall one time three weeks ago but I remember at least 5 occasions where she's lost it and lashed out.
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Christ mate
Take her to the fucking cleaners

I mean in the counselling, don't batter her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)

HADDOCK LOLS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Your heart's not in this punning game
You have to really try, there's no point in posting for the halibut
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)

He has the heart, he just doesn't have the sole

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Spare me your cod psycology

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Learn to know your plaice

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Can't I just demand anal and a few noshes in reparations?

( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)

If only the French government in the 1920s had shared your enterprising attitude

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)

They could have avoided WWII if they had just accepted a Nosh from one of the three attractive German birds at the time
and a bit of anal from a couple of German 5 pinters
( Peej, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)

We need to go back in time and suggest this to them
We'll take a video camera and kickstart Germany's main export business
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 21 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)