Good morning.
I've been thinking for a while now that we need a good old fashioned war; it would create jobs and the British always like having someone to hate.

Who should we start a war with? What about?


Alt: blah blah, pope, blah blah, lunch, pulled pork, blah blah, weekend plans, blah blah, etc.

How many times am I going to have to do this?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:08, 32 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

WHAT A RUBBISH SESSION!
The only dodgy question she asked me was if I ever got caught wanking!
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:11, Reply)

Ha ha.
You should have pulled your cock out, started tugging & said 'what? you mean like this?'
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:13, Reply)

She also says we start joint psychosexual therapy next week
but we won't be asked to do anything in the office. Why am I even bothering to go!
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:16, Reply)

Take an inflatable dolphin to the first session.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:17, Reply)

What would be the porpoise of that?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:20, Reply)

because I'm a cheeky Minke

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I think you're dolphin too deeply into this.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:23, Reply)

What was the exact question she asked?
But it does seem a strange question, unless you had a habit of spluffing in your wife's face to wake her up in the morning.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:16, Reply)

She asked if I was a late starter, at what age I started spanking it and asked where I do/did it
and if I had ever been caught.
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:17, Reply)

This mediator is filth.
Imagine the bean flicking that goes on when she gets home from work.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:18, Reply)

Either that or nothing happens at all
as listening to all that filth day in, day out, has mired her libido to the point that she doesn't get wet at all.
( Kroney, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:19, Reply)

McDonalds syndrome.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I don't see what getting aroused at hamburgers has to do with this

( Kroney, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:23, Reply)

It's just gherkin off, really.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:25, Reply)

I'd have told her to fuck off and mind her own business.
You don't need therapy. You need booze and drugs.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:20, Reply)

But I have booze and drugs
What I need is to be noshed off once in a while
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Can't you just have an evening in Camborne.
There are plenty of ropey old bints more than willing for the price of a bag of chips.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:33, Reply)

My wife is from Camborne
and she wants a lot more than a bag of chips, last time I got noshed off was because I bought her a saab 93 vector sport TDi which means nothing to me because I don't drive. All I know is it was a lot of money to spend on a fucking blowjob
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:35, Reply)

Yeah, let's have a war, and start conscription again.
There's enough posters on here to start the Queen's own B3ta cannon fodder. Fortunatley I'm too old and lame to fight, so I'll just hold your coats.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:12, Reply)

coats

children
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:13, Reply)

I think we should stick with tradition and declare war on France, cos we always win.
Alternatively, wait till Scotland declares independence, then invade and take back the oil.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:14, Reply)

It'll be too late.
It'll already stink of chips by then.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:19, Reply)

We should start a war with France
but with 1803-1815 rules, uniforms and weapons

Alt. The Pope is a ridiculous outdated position that more people laugh at every time. Pulled pork is ok, weekend plans revole around my mothers 50th Birthday, yes my mum is younger than Monty. She wants to go out for the day with the kids, then get on a mini bus go somewhere and get wasted. Sunday I am pressure washing the back garden and cutting down the neighbours trees even though I know its illegal. Fuck it, they can't make me put them back up again and I am sick of not having any light in the summer.
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:15, Reply)

When did you first start pulling pork, and were you ever caught?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I was a late starter
so bad luck Bartleby, no underage boy wanking stories for you!
( Peej, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:32, Reply)

hahahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:38, Reply)

there are some rather be odd people that do just that down on Angel Meadows every couple of weeks

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:38, Reply)

Is she a porn star?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:42, Reply)

Pfffttttttt.
3rd attempt Argentina obviously

Because of the Maradonna incident in ’86 and the batistuta incident in ’98*

*Is there any other reason to fight them?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:36, Reply)

to free stuj from Falklands oppression.
And free his penguins.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Do they have any oil?
At the least we'd come back with some excellent steak.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Aren't we already spending enough on our overseas military operations?
That doesn't seem to be creating jobs, in fact the MoD are cutting back on jobs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Mar 2013, 8:43, Reply)